Coadunate Day
by jennycaakes
Summary: Every year in early August right before school starts, every child between the ages of 14 and 18 are required to go to the Justice Hall and be matched with a lifelong partner. The day was created in attempt to produce a steady marriage and diverse children. It was named Coadunate Day, and Gale has dreaded it for as long as he can remember.
1. Coadunate

**Disclaimer: **The original characters of this story are property of the author. _This is an universe where the Hunger Games do not exist. _

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><p><strong>co·ad·u·nate <strong>_adj._Closely joined; grown together; united.

* * *

><p>"Pretty dress," he says.<p>

Gale looks at Madge Undersee's perfect white dress and frowns. All of the girls in the Seam in their dresses for today are not as clean and pressed, much more gray. The dresses that they're getting will have been handed down for generations, will have coal stained into the fabric. The mayor's daughter, however, has a brand new white dress to beat everyone else's. Madge accepts the berries with a tight smile.

She hands the coins across to him and Katniss and clears her throat. She says, "Well if I end up getting paired off today I want to look nice, don't I?"

There's a darkness in her eyes that Gale doesn't like. Perhaps it's because she accepts her eventual fate of being married off, or maybe it's because he knows her words are sarcastic. He doesn't understand how anyone could just accept the investable, there must be _some_ inner resistance going on somewhere.

"Nothing _but_ from the mayor's daughter," he chirps. He can take what Madge can dish. Katniss elbows him in the side.

Today is Coadunate Day.

"Mm," Madge frowns just as he had when she answered the door. "You've _got _to look nice though, don't you Hawthorne? You're guaranteed a wife today. You'll _have _to make a good first impression," she says smugly. He fidgets uneasily on his feet and casts his eyes away from her. "Are you nervous?"

"_Madge_," Katniss scowls. Her gray eyes widen and she jerks her head to the side slightly, clearly disappointed in the blonde in the doorway. _Don't_. _Everyone is nervous today_. "Thanks for the trade."

Madge fidgets uneasily on her spot and tips her head forward in the slightest apology. "Good luck today," she says.

"You too," Katniss responds. She pulls Gale away before he can say something nasty.

Gale and she walk away from the Undersee mansion in mostly silence. They both know today is going to change everything. In less than a few hours Gale is going to be forced to enter the Justice Hall where they'll take a DNA sample with a small needle and where he'll stand in front of a computer screen and answer a few questions. Sooner or later a number will print out, the same number that his future wife will have.

The smaller the number the sooner he is to be married. Even if he has the last number of the day, he's still going to be married today. Like Madge said, it's guaranteed. He's reached the maximum age.

He and Katniss part without saying anything, they'll see each other soon either at the Justice Hall or after the ceremonies are performed, and they've never been very good at talking about coadunation anyway.

The second Gale arrives home his mother is waiting for him. Hazelle Hawthorne has her hands on her hips and her eyebrows are very high on her forehead.

"Where've you been?" she asks. Gale drops his game bag on the ground loudly without responding. "I've had your bath ready for hours. The water isn't even warm anymore! Go, go! We haven't got all day!"

"Ma," he groans as she pushes him toward the bathroom. All three of his younger siblings are waiting on the couch dressed nicely. "I don't see why it's such a big deal."

He's just going to get stuck with some deadbeat girl from the Seam who he'll work alongside in the mines. They'll be forced to have x amount of children and will make y amount of money and will strive to survive. There are no other outcomes to Coadunate Day. He's known this ever since he was a child, and though he's tried to pretend it isn't happening, Gale knows that it is his fate.

Coadunate Day takes place every single year during early August, right before the new school year begins. Every child between the ages of 14 and 18 are required to go to the Justice Hall where they get a DNA sample taken, and then take some sort of personality test, so they can be matched to another citizen in the district. A match can be found at any of the ages, whether it be the first year a child's name is registered or the very last. Sometimes it takes a few years until someone's match is in the system, or after a careful evaluation it's finally decided two should be together. Sometimes people are in the system for years at the same time before being matched.

After the two meet or reacquaint themselves in the presence a Capitol escort, they're moved onto the stage outside the Justice Hall where they are wed in front of the entire district. That night, no matter the age they've been married at, sex is required to seal the deal. An injection is given to the two being married that will make it a pleasant experience.

The entire system has been in place for as long as Gale can remember. Somewhere in his years of education at the public high school he learned that Coadunate Day was forged in an attempt to create a steady marriage that will produce healthy and diverse children. There was once a time in Panem where children were beginning to die off due to weak genes and marriages were failing very early on, leaving the kids without a steady home. Not wanting the future of Panem to be in shambles, Coadunate Day was created: a combination of personality tests and DNA samples to find your "perfect" (_and required_) match. Two people are wed, required to have children, and live together for the rest of their lives. If they don't produce the amount of children they've been assigned, then they are deemed useless killed for being unable to contribute to the future of society.

"It's a big deal," his mother frowns, "because you're going to meet the girl you're going to be joined with for the rest of your life. And you should make a good impression."

"I'm going to be wed to her whether I make a good impression or not," he frowns. She shoves him in the bathroom and shuts the door behind him.

With a huff Gale strips himself from his sweaty hunting clothes and sinks into the bath. The water is still warm for which he is thankful and it doesn't take him long to scrub the thin layer of coal from his skin. He rubs the bar of soap over his body and lathers some into his hair as well, hoping he smells flowery fresh like his mother so desperately wants. It isn't long before Hazelle is banging on the door telling him to hurry up, and then Gale has to force himself from the bathtub one last time.

He towels off quickly before wrapping it around his waist, exiting the bathroom with an eyebrow cocked.

Hazelle is waiting outside the room with her arms gesturing toward the back bedroom. "Go on! I laid something out for you!" She pushes him toward the open door and smiles brightly when he stops in the doorway. Laid out across the bed is— "It was your father's," she says. "He wore it to our wedding."

Gale pauses, staring down at the slightly worn outfit with a smile. He can't help but be a bit jealous of his mother and father. They had been best friends since they were young and the odds were clearly in their favor, for they were assigned one another on Coadunate Day. The two were only required to have two children but were honestly and truly in love. They stopped after four.

If only Gale could be so lucky, perhaps he could get assigned to Katniss. They've been friends for a long time, he could grow to love her. Ever since Gale was a child he's closed himself off from feelings like that in fear of Coadunate Day. He doesn't want to imagine the pain of being in love with someone and getting paired up to someone else. It would be complete and utter heartbreak.

Instead he skipped from girl to girl, taking a few to the slagheap and making sure they remembered him for when _they_ were assigned someone besides him. No one ever stuck around for too long. He didn't care much.

"Thanks, Ma," he says. Gale's father died in a mine collapse when he was fourteen years old. "Honestly. It means a lot."

"Ooh," she hugs him, clearly forgetting that all he's wearing is a towel around his waist, and sighs. "Gale, whoever this girl is that you're going to be paired with is going to be in for a treat!"

"Thanks," he says again. He shoos her away so he can change, shutting the door behind him with a click.

Gale sighs when he's by himself in the room. He removes the towel from around his waist and lifts it to dry his hair. As he gets changed all he can think about is how the girl he ends up with might be lucky, but is _he_ going to be?

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><p>The Justice Hall, like every Coadunate Day, is packed.<p>

Gale enters the building and is overwhelmed by the crowd of fourteen to eighteen year olds. It's mass chaos. He's been here a few times, however, and knows exactly where to go. It takes him a bit to weave through the masses but eventually he finds the line of other eighteen year old males. They all have the same look in their eyes, one that Gale probably has himself.

Coming here year after year and having the computer say _No Match_ is not the best experience. There are even horror stories about eighteen year olds getting the same screen and spending their life alone. Everyone in the country is guaranteed a match, but that doesn't stop him from worrying. It's how parents have gotten their children to behave, saying things like _if you're not a good kid they won't pair you up with anyone on Coadunate Day. I've seen it happen before_. It's never true.

Gale doesn't want to be forced to marry anyone, but he would most certainly do that then spend the rest of eternity by himself. He's always wanted a family like his own. Hopefully whoever he ends up with is someone who values family.

Oh, she has to. Panem may not be the greatest country in the world but they really do try to match people up according to their personalities. They wouldn't marry him off to someone entirely dislikable, would they?

He can't say it hasn't been done before.

God, please let the odds be in his favor today.

The line moves slowly and Gale finds his mind filled with names. He could end up with any of the eighteen year old girls that haven't been matched. Bristel Clearwater, Jade Trayers, Samantha Wicken, the list goes on. Or someone younger, someone he knows from school. Or maybe someone he doesn't know at all. Would it be best that way? To marry someone he has never met?

Gale finally reaches the door. Behind it is a computer screen where his fate will be decided. After a few more minutes of waiting for the boy in front of him to finish he is escorted in by a peacekeeper.

The room is dark. The computer is old. It takes a bit for it to load.

A small surface extends from the side of the desktop and Gale places his finger on it, wincing when a needle juts out and collects a sample of his DNA. He sucks his finger to get it to stop bleeding as the computer registers who he is.

_Gale Hawthorne._ His birthday appears, alongside a few other identification pieces. A list of family members. A special ID number he's never going to remember and isn't even required to, used only for the Capitol's purposes. He sighs and hits the confirmation button.

The questions are simple.

_How many children would you like to have?  
>A) One.<br>B) Two.  
>C) Three.<br>__**D) Undecided.**_

Gale isn't sure why this question is asked, he's going to be given a necessary amount of children no matter how many he wishes to have.

_Which of these traits do you value most?  
><em>_**A) Determination.  
><strong>__B) Kindness.  
>C) Patience.<br>D) Bravery._

_Where is your preferred residence space?  
>A) Town.<br>__**B) Seam.**_

Again, in the end, Gale has no say in it. Perhaps the system that scans his answers will take his wishes into consideration even if it's decided against in the end. That's sort of reassuring, just not enough.

_Who has been the biggest influence on your life?  
><em>_**A) Your siblings.  
><strong>__B) A friend.  
>C) Your parents.<br>D) A teacher._

_Which of the following do you most prefer in a mate?  
>A) A sense of humor.<br>__**B) Someone who will give you space.  
><strong>__C) Good looking.  
>D) A quiet person.<em>

_Would you rather marry…  
>A) An attractive person who you dislike<br>B) An unattractive person you can tolerate  
><em>_**C) It doesn't matter**_

_I think it is important to follow the rules.  
>A) Strongly disagree<br>B) Disagree  
><em>_**C) Agree**__  
>D) Strongly Agree<em>

Gale follows the rules when he's supposed to, but only because he's supposed to. He answers _agree_ because he knows that's the correct answer, but in the end he disagrees an immense amount. Gale has been breaking the law since he was a kid, slipping under the fence that surrounds the district so he can hunt in the woods. He's needed to feed his family ever since his father died, it was the only way it could be done.

_I think it is important to finish schooling before starting work.  
>A) Strongly disagree<br>__**B) Disagree**__  
>C) Agree<br>D) Strongly Agree_

_I have never been in love.  
><em>_**A) True**__  
>B) False<em>

_I can see myself falling in love one day.  
>A) True<br>__**B) False**_

Gale doesn't understand why they need to know this. They're going to put him with someone anyway.

Gale hits the final next button and rocks backwards on his heels, and then the screen flashes. _Match Found_. A simultaneous relief and also disappointment erupts inside of him. It's not as though he's excited to be paired off with someone, but part of Gale was hoping he might be too good for anyone they want to match him with. Of course that isn't true. They always find someone. They have to keep the population of Panem growing somehow.

A number prints out from the bottom of the computer and Gale pulls it up. _Seven. _He is number seven. And somewhere else, somewhere among the girls in the crowd he edged his way through earlier, also has the number seven. They will be the seventh people to get married in the infinite list of people.

The peacekeeper in the room escorts him down another hallway where Gale has to weave past the people with later numbers than his own. He wishes he could see the woman he was going to marry before they enter the certification room, but the girls and boys are kept apart for a reason. Gale sinks into a chair with a sigh and drags his hands through his hair, and then reaches up to fiddle with the tie around his throat that is strangling him.

It's selfish, but he hopes that she's pretty.

Atop of that, he also hopes that she's kind. He wants a wife who is brave and smart. A wife who can put up with him when he's too much to handle but at the same time someone who isn't afraid to call him out when he oversteps. If he's going to have to put up with her for the rest of his life he wants her to meet the small standards that he has. Besides, his future children will have to call her their mother one day.

_Don't get your hopes up_, he thinks. Gale's just another boy from the Seam, no one special. They wouldn't assign him someone incredible, and even if they did it wouldn't mean a thing.

A boy, the baker's youngest son, sinks into the seat in front of him. His name is Peeta. He flashes Gale his number. _Six_.

Peeta lifts his shoulders. "Is getting married earlier than most better or worse?" he asks. The baker's boy has his son slicked back with some sort of grease that makes him look a bit ridiculous. His shirt is nice and white, his tie is a deep orange. "Probably better, right? To get it out of the way?"

"I don't know," Gale answers. He licks his lips and looks toward the wall that separates them from the girls. On the other side is his soon to be wife. "I've never been married before," he jibes.

"Right, right," Peeta nods and fidgets nervously. They're both quiet for a bit. "My brother's didn't get paired until they were both eighteen," Peeta says. "I was surprised to be matched already."

"Interesting," Gale drones.

Peeta clearly doesn't pick up on the sarcasm. "You know, it feels different than I thought it would. I've had a crush on this one girl since I was a kid. I thought this might help me get over it. It hasn't. It's made it worse." The odds are obviously not in Peeta Mellark's favor. "I don't see why it has to be like this."

"Don't," Gale warns.

He eyes a peacekeeper at the back of the room. Talk like this isn't worth getting imprisoned over, or worse. Gale agrees, it shouldn't have to be like this, but it's not as though they can stop it now.

In fact, it didn't _used_ to be like this. Things changed a while back when the population of Panem started dropping. The living conditions are absolutely shit in every district, not just here in 12. People started to decided that they would rather not bring children into this world. The working conditions were awful (they still _are_) and mandatory labor is required. If the people weren't going to reproduce for the hell of it, Panem was going to make them.

Gale doesn't understand why the people couldn't just fall in love with whomever they wanted and be told to have so many children. Why does the Capitol have to choose _everything_ for them?

Peeta reaches the front of the line and Gale tips his head at him. The blonde forces some sort of awkward smile and lifts himself to his feet. The peacekeepers escort him through the door. Gale doesn't get a glimpse of the girl who enters from the other side.

Gale doesn't know Peeta very well besides the fact that his father makes pretty good trades, but Gale does wish him the best.

Without Peeta's sweaty forehead to distract him, Gale begins to bounce his knee. Way in the back of the line he spots his friend Thom who looks a bit nervous as well, and a few other people he knew from school. Gale averts his gaze back to the door which he'll be pushed through sooner or later, into a room where a woman named Effie Trinket all the way from the Capitol will introduce him to his wife. The two will shake hands before being escorted onto a stage where they will be wed in front of the entirety of the district. Sealed with a kiss.

"Number Seven," a loud automated voice rings out. Gale leaps to his feet, clearly more nervous than he thought he was.

He leaves the doors handle sweaty and finds Effie Trinket on the other side. "Oh, lovely, lovely!" she cheers. "Today is such a big day for you, boy!" She paces over to him and injects something into his arm. His eyes search for the girl he's going to be linked to. Has there been a mistake? He doesn't see anyone! But then the door creaks open and in strides a girl. And she's wearing a pretty white dress.

She freezes when she spots him, and he, her. Effie paces over and injects whatever she just did into Gale into her as well.

"Gale," the girl finally croaks.

His voice is quiet. "Madge." Gale turns to Effie. "This has got to be a mistake!"

"The Capitol doesn't make mistakes," Effie scolds him. She pulls the two of them together. "Shake hands, you two! Shake hands!" She forces their hands together and Gale finds that Madge's are sweaty as well. Their handshake is firm. Her stare is relentless. "Oh, I'm so excited for you two! Imagine the children, imagine them! They'll be so beautiful!" Effie pushes them toward the door that leads to the front of the Justice Hall, that leads to the stage where the ceremony will continue. "Go on, children! Go be wed!"

She shoves them outside before either of them can say anything else.

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><p><em>AN: This fic was inspired by SwishyWillow. I hope you all have a great Valentine's Day! This fic will be updated every day until completion, and will be ten chapters long. Let me know your thoughts, please! Thanks to _**juniorstarcatcher** _for the beta and all the help on getting this fic!_


	2. Copulate

**cop·u·late** _intr.v._ To engage in coitus or sexual intercourse. _adj._ Coupled; joined.

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><p>They're assigned a house in the middle of town.<p>

Madge is required to finish schooling considering she's only 16 before she pursues the musical arts, whatever the hell _that _means. Gale is to start his lifelong job of mining within in the next week.

They're required to have at least two children by the time Madge is 21 years old in the next five years.

Gale feels like he's going to throw up.

His family helps him move his things and they arrive much before Madge does. His new home isn't huge, but he does think it's very nice. There are hardwood floors in most of the rooms and hallways, but tile in the kitchen and bathrooms. The ceiling is very high. The master bedroom has a bed that is so large Gale's relieved he's not going to be on top of Madge. There are two spare bedrooms, though they're much smaller. They have a washing machine and a dryer. They have a fridge. Electricity. Running water.

He wouldn't have received any of this if he had been assigned a house in the Seam. Madge's father's wealth has clearly been passed down. Gale is being spoiled. No one else is getting off this easy today.

"I want to live here," Posy says, setting down the tiny box she helped carried. "It's pretty!"

"This is Gale's house, Posy," his mother says, eyeing the space. There's plenty of room for his family to move in here as well, but it's against protocol and he knows they won't even if he insists. "He's going to live here with his new wife."

Posy giggles. "The pretty girl you kissed on stage?" she asks. Talk about awkward first kisses. They both fumbled. He nearly missed and kissed Madge on the cheek considering she's infinitely shorter than he is. Her cheeks were a brilliant shade of pink. She wouldn't look him in the eye. "No wonder! She deserves a pretty house like this one." Posy strides over to her brother who has just lowered a few boxes onto the kitchen table, which is smooth and wooden. She pokes his stomach. "You are married!"

"I am," Gale nods. He's got a silver band on his left hand to prove it, one given to him by the official who ran the wedding on stage. The guy must have a box of them.

Madge's own ring was Capitol provided as well. Gale thinks that's for the best, considering if he had to give her one of his own choosing it would've been more personal and heartfelt, and he can't imagine putting too much thought into this.

Rory snorts from where he stands. "Married to the mayor's daughter," he says. "How'd you swing that one, Gale? Who'd you bribe?"

"Rory," Hazelle warns. "Don't."

"Now you've got this nice home in town and a bride the entire district is envious of," Rory continues. "_You_."

"I don't know, Rory," Gale hisses. "You think I wanted this?"

"This is the best it gets," Rory says back, throwing his hands up. "How could you _not_ want this!"

"That's enough!" Hazelle barks. It echoes in the empty house. She lets out a short breath. "Gale," she turns to her eldest son and places a hand on his shoulder. "Be thankful for what you've been given. Try to love her. You could." _No I can't_, he thinks. She doesn't understand, and he can't explain. Not yet. "And Rory," she turns to him, though her hand is still on Gale's shoulder. "Be nice. Coadunate Day is difficult."

"Looks _real_ difficult," Rory mutters. He eyes the place. "You're set for life." _But I'll never be in love_. "What about us back home, huh? You going to forget about us? We just gonna starve now?"

"I'll bring things every Sunday," Gale says. "Maybe you guys can come over for dinner sometimes. I don't—" he sighs, dragging a hand through his hair. He doesn't _know_. He doesn't know what Madge wants. How she thinks. What she's going to do or say about _any_ of this. "We'll figure it out. Okay?"

"Just come visit," Vick says from where he stands near the door. He looks sad. "I'll miss you, Gale."

"Hey, I'm just a few minutes away," Gale says, pacing to his brother. He scoops Vick into his arms and spins him around once, reveling in the giggle that escapes his baby brother. "You can come over whenever you want, alright?" Gale ruffles Vick's hair as he nods before gently lowering him to the ground. He looks up at his family. "You guys should probably go."

"Eager to seal the deal?" Rory asks. Hazelle shoots him a glare. "What? Everyone knows what they've got to do tonight."

"All _right_," Hazelle sighs loudly. She paces toward her eldest and wraps her arms around him tightly. "I love you," she whispers. "Madge is a lovely girl. Remember that you two were paired for a reason." _Diverse children_, he thinks. Mostly people are kept within their own social groups, Seam with Seam and town with town. They've got to expand every now and again to keep the gene pool fresh. "Enjoy tonight, okay? It can be nice."

"Thanks, Ma," Gale's chest heats up as she releases her arms.

He hugs all of his siblings goodbye and even Rory squeezes him with all he's got before the family disappears.

He's alone. In his new house. That he's going to share with Madge Undersee. His wife.

Gale didn't have many things to carry over from his house in the Seam, just a few boxes of clothing and his game bag. He loosens the tie around his neck and shrugs the dark jacket off of his shoulders, hanging it on the back of a chair. He was going to wait for Madge to show up before he started unloading his things (did she have a side preference when it came to dressers?) but he's got nothing else to do.

As he's finishing up with the last box he hears the door swing open.

"No, no, I've got it, Daddy!" Madge's voice is high and soft. She giggles a bit. "Thank you," she says. There are two sets of footsteps, Madge and apparently her father's. Gale isn't sure he wants to leave the bedroom. "Thanks for helping me carry my things."

"Your mother would've if she could've," Gale hears the mayor say back. Oh, God, the mayor is his father-in-law. "Sweetheart," Mayor Undersee says quietly. "I'm so happy for you."

"Mm," Madge sighs. "Thank you."

"Gale, he seems like a wonderful boy. I'm sure he is. They wouldn't have paired you together if he wasn't." Gale peeks out the doorway and watches her father kiss Madge on the forehead. "Don't be afraid to fall in love."

"Daddy," she sighs. The floorboards creak a bit. Madge spins around and Gale emerges from the backroom. "You're already here," she squeaks. "This is, um," she gestures to her dad.

"Mayor Undersee," Gale crosses the room and shakes the man's hand. "Pleasure."

"It is," the mayor nods. He smirks, "You can call me dad if you want." Gale clears his throat awkwardly and Madge drops her gaze to the floor. "That was a joke," he adds after a bit. He turns to Madge and smiles kindly. "I won't keep you. Come over any time." He bends down and kisses her forehead again. "I love you, darling."

"Love you too, Daddy." The mayor tips his head at Gale one last time before leaving them alone. The silence is heavy. Madge looks around the room rapidly, her eyes darting from this wall to that. "Um. It's bigger than I expected."

"Me too," Gale murmurs. Her cheeks erupt with color again. With everyone gone, the Capitol officials, the family, it's strange seeing her here like this. She's his wife. He's her husband. She looks so young standing in front of him, so small. Just hours ago he slid a ring onto her finger that declared her his and he hers. She shifts uneasily under his heavy gaze. Gale glances down at the boxes she and her father carried, they're bigger than Gale's and are all packed to the very top. "Want me to carry your boxes into the bedroom?"

"No, no," she shakes her head. "I can do it. I, um," she rubs at her face. "No. I can do it."

Gale scratches the back of his neck and looks away from her. "Well. I'm going to finish unpacking."

"Yeah, right, of course," Madge nods. She bites down on her bottom lip. "I'm going to, um," she gestures. "Yeah."

"Right." Gale paces back to the bedroom without figuring out what she's actually going to do.

* * *

><p>It's dark by the time they speak to each other again, having kept to separate ends of the house at all times. If she moved into the bedroom, he moved out. They danced around each other without a word, without even <em>looking<em> in each other's direction. He just couldn't do it.

Out of all the people in the entire district, how was he paired with Madge Undersee? It's not as though he doesn't think she's attractive, because she is and their children are going to rule with an iron fist, but they don't get along. They never have.

He's been selling strawberries to her family for years, they always gave him and Katniss a hefty pay. Madge had an acidic tongue. They always found themselves debating over this or that. She would snap at him and he would return it, not holding back. Was it because she had more money than he did? Maybe. Probably not. Deep down he knew it wasn't her fault that her father was the mayor. They just looked at the world differently. They were opposites in every sense of the word.

She was gentle and kind, he was rough around the edges. She was small and blonde, he was tall and dark. Madge was rich, Gale was poor. Madge was patient, Gale was not. She looked for the best in people, he didn't let anyone get away with their mistakes.

But avoiding each other is no means for a marriage. So here they stand, opposite sides of the bedroom, staring across the bed at each other. Madge is rubbing the spot on her arm where Effie injected her, and Gale's own needle mark is starting to hurt just a bit too.

"I'm guessing you don't have, um," Gale rubs his eyebrow, "experience?"

Madge made the bed up earlier, the sheets look infinitely comfortable.

Her eyebrows collide in offense as she asks, "Do you?" Gale shrugs. "Oh. Right." She must have heard the rumors of how Gale got around. They weren't all true, but a fair amount were. He can't help but wonder how she feels about that. "Um. No. I don't."

Madge is so noticeably nervous with her shaking hands and the way she can't look him in the eye that he can't help but wonder what happened to the girl with attitude on her porch this morning. He thinks he likes that version better. This Madge, this quiet shy girl who keeps fidgeting, is making him uneasy. Gale paces around the bed over to her and rests his hands on her shoulders. They can do this. Sex is more or less required the night of marriage. The injection Effie gave both of them ups their hormones so even if they resist they're both horny as hell.

Madge licks her lips and lets her eyes flutter shut. "Don't be nervous," he murmurs. Gale hadn't felt the injection until he started to think about it, but it's as though a switch has been flipped inside of him. Madge may be shy but she is very lovely. And for some reason, he's got it in his head that she can be very vocal, which is a massive turn-on. He tries to ignore the twitching in his pants. "It'll be fine."

"Does it hurt?"

"Not if it's done right," Gale says. He dips down and skims his lips over her temple. Her body is warm. "I'll do it right." She nods, allowing her eyes to open. Should he pretend that she's someone else? No, that would make it worse. He should praise the body she has, make Madge feel at ease and comforted. This is going to be awkward no matter how it's done, Gale might as well make it pleasant. "Can I kiss you?" he whispers.

"I'm your wife," she whispers back. Her lips curl upward and her voice is high. "Of course you can."

He doesn't kiss her on the lips. That's much too intimate. Too personal. They're married, not _lovers_. Not sweet on one another. Gale kisses her chin. He kisses her jaw. He kisses her throat and the nape of her neck. Madge gasps quietly as he kisses down the front of her chest, an experience that must be new to her.

She guides his hands to the back of her dress where the zipper is and he doesn't hesitate to pull it down. The dress shifts from her shoulders and falls to the ground, leaving Madge in nothing but her underclothes.

This would be much less difficult if she wasn't beautiful, he wouldn't have to admire all of her curves and freckles. _But she is, and he does_.

The girls Gale always took to the slagheap had sharp bones and sharper nails. It was never very pleasurable, just a bit of a release every now and then. He never really got to see them undressed either, it was too public of a space to risk it. But Madge…

Her bra and panties match, they're both lacy and white. She blushes as his hands trace down her sides and hold onto her hips. "You have a lot of clothes on," she blurts. Gale laughs uncharacteristically and removes his hands from her. "Wait." She pulls his hands back to her skin. Fuck the hormone injection, she feels so _nice_. "Let me." As he traces patterns on her hips she unbuttons his shirt. Off it goes, as do his pants, and Madge runs her hands over his chest. Her fingernails dig into his shoulders just to the point of pleasure. "Okay," she nods. "I'm ready."

* * *

><p>They lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling.<p>

For a first time, it wasn't bad. He doesn't want to say _perfect_, but it wasn't bad at all. Their bodies fit together, they helped each other through. In the end his _experience_ helped them when it started to get awkward. The hormone injection definitely helped a lot.

His name sounded _really_ good when Madge panted it.

"What now?" she asks. They're both still naked. Both spent from the day. "We just keep at it every day until I get pregnant?"

"I guess so," Gale nods. They keep to opposite sides of the bed, so far apart that there isn't even a chance the two will touch. "Was it… okay? For you?" He didn't want her to hurt, health class has taught him that it isn't always pleasant for women and if it's pleasurable for him he'd like it to be for her as well. They're going to have to have sex a few times to have a kid, and Gale doesn't want her dreading it.

"Yeah," Madge says. "Really okay. Maybe even good." He turns to look at her and finds her smirking. Ah, there's the girl from the porch. Gale can't help but snort. He pushes himself out of bed so he can pull on his boxers. The thought of sleeping naked next to her is a bit unsettling. Madge shifts so she's sitting, watching as he moves. "And that's it?" she asks. "Just… every night we do that, and that's _it_."

"What else would there be?" he asks.

Sex is necessary. Copulation is a requirement. Children must be in the future.

"I don't know," Madge drags a hand through her perfectly messy hair. Gale isn't sure if the hormone injection is what is making him attracted to her like this or if she just looks _really good_. "Talking? I mean, I _am_ your wife."

"You're my wife," Gale repeats. "Not my girlfriend. I didn't choose you."

"And I didn't choose you," she snaps back, sitting up slightly. She looks at him angrily as he glances over his shoulder at her. "But that doesn't mean you have to avoid me like I'm the plague. We're in this together for the rest of our lives, Gale."

Gale turns so he can look at her. "We never talked be_fore_."

"You're right, we argued. Like we are now." His lips turn downward as she crosses her arms over her chest. "But we weren't married before, and we didn't see each other every day, and I don't deserve to be blown off like one of the girls you took to the slagheap. Alright?" He stares at her for a bit. "It's the first night," she murmurs. "You can't hate me already." He clears his throat awkwardly before sinking back into the mattress. He doesn't hate her. He just hates what's been forced upon them. He also hates the crease between her eyebrows that signifies self-doubt. "Was I really that bad at it?"

Gale snorts before he can help it. "Not at all," he says honestly. But he _likes_ the way she smiles at him. "It might've even been good."

* * *

><p><em>AN: The feedback to the first chapter was incredible! I really hope you guys enjoy the story. There were a few comments about the 'matching ceremony' but I honestly have no idea what that is? So if there are similarities it's a coincidence, I swear. This is an arranged marriage fic and that's the extent of it. I wanted a way for it to happen in Panem and just enforced that instead of the Games, so sorry if there are hard feelings there or something! Thanks again to_ **juniorstarcatcher** _for the beta, and I really hope you all are liking the story!_


	3. Suffocate

**suf·fo·cate** _ ._ To kill or destroy by preventing access of air or oxygen. _ ._To become or feel suppressed; be stifled.

* * *

><p>They fall into a routine quickly.<p>

Every morning Gale wakes up to the beeping of the fancy new alarm clock he's been given so he can trudge across town to get to the mines for work. He's lowered underground. He swings his pickaxe with all he's got so he can feel something besides numb, a physical aching in his muscles. Madge starts back up at school. Some mornings they wake up together, most times he's out of bed before she is. She moves through her day, he through his own. Gale returns home a few hours after Madge is done school. She makes dinner as he showers off. They eat in mostly silence besides the occasional chitchat about the weather.

Madge works on her schoolwork while Gale does dishes. They do laundry together. Sometimes they smile. On the nights they fight (over the most meaningless things, of course) they have very intense sex before falling asleep. On most nights they do the bare minimum.

It's not an ideal marriage, but it works.

Until she starts trying to talk to him. Like, _really_ talk to him.

One day about two weeks after they've been married he returns home, exhausted and ready to sink into nothingness, when she turns her head at the sound of the door. "Hi," she calls. Gale's eyebrows furrow together. He kicks his boots off by the door and hangs his helmet on the hook before entering the kitchen. She's sitting with papers in front of her, reading from some old textbook. "How was work?"

Gale stares at her for a minute. "What are you doing?"

Madge looks down at her work and up at him. "Homework?" Madge has to graduate from high school before she's allowed to continue on to her assigned career as an entertainer. She'll be trained in the piano, which Gale knows she's already good at, and play at a variety of ceremonies.

"No, I mean why are you talking to me?"

She drops her eyes back to her work. "All I did was ask how work was," she murmurs.

"Well don't," he snaps. Gale shrugs off his jacket and flings it onto the back of the chair beside her before marching past. It's too homey. It's too normal, a question like that. "Work was shit. It's always shit." He strides into the bathroom and shuts the door, leaning against it and sighing.

Quickly Gale peels off his work clothes, leaving them in a pile on the floor. He cranks the shower onto the hottest setting possible and lets the steam fill the room. He wipes a spot away in the mirror so he can see himself, making sure his walls have yet to crack, and waits for it to fog over again before getting in the wash.

* * *

><p>She tries again at dinner. "Why is work shit?" she asks. He nearly chokes on his glass of milk when he hears such a foul word come from her mouth. In the entire time they've been wed he's never heard her say anything worse than the word <em>crap<em>. He imagines her saying things worse, perhaps when they're in bed, and fidgets uneasily. Gale likes the idea too much. Her eyebrows are high on her forehead as she waits for an answer. Gale clears his throat and averts his eyes to his plate. "Why don't you want to talk to me?" she asks. "You enjoy _fighting_ with me. We could probably have some really great conversations if you put some effort into it."

"My dad died in the mines," Gale answers sternly. He doesn't want to have to explain it more than once. "Every time the elevator lowers me down I just think about how they collapsed on top of him and he probably suffocated to death. I can't breathe down there. All I do is swing my arms and carry buckets back and forth once they get full. It's busywork. It's not what I want to do."

"Then what do you want to do?" she asks.

"Madge," Gale warns. He appreciates that she doesn't ask about his father. She sinks backwards in her chair and crosses her arms over her chest. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because it's been weeks and I hate it!" Madge tilts her head away from the table and stares off to the side. "Other people who are paired together might not like it but at least they _talk_! At least they _try_ for something more than _sex_!"

Gale sinks backwards in his chair as well, his cheeks flushing at her implication. That he uses her for pleasure, that he uses her for sex. He doesn't like it.

"That's not fair."

"That's not fair?" she echoes. "What isn't fair is that you only pay attention to me when I'm beneath you." Her words are fighting words and she is _not_ going to apologize. "Can't we at least be friends? I'm not asking you to _love_ me." Finally she looks back at him, he's surprised to find her eyelashes wet. "I hate it, Gale," Madge whispers. "I hate that you can't even look at me. I didn't _ask_ for this any more than you did."

Their eyes stay locked for a very long time. She may be easily upset but she's not weak, and Gale admires that persistence in her. But it's not enough.

"I don't love you," he says. "I will _never_ love you." Madge's face falls and she finally looks away from him. She sucks in a sharp breath and tears well up in her eyes. "Do you understand that?"

She's quiet for a very long time. Gale can see it, though he doesn't acknowledge it. Her face turns pale, her hands unclench. Her chin quivers. Clearly, she does _not_ understand. She doesn't understand why her parents were able to love each other, why his parents were able to love each other, and yet he can't love her. She doesn't understand why he's forcing the rest of her life to be loveless and lonely. Madge doesn't understand why he isn't willing to even give it a _chance_.

But still, she says, "I understand," because if he won't love her Madge at least wants him to respect her. Gale doesn't believe her. She isn't going to push him for an explanation; it will only shatter her heart even more. He wishes that he could explain. She wishes that she could stop feeling like she does.

"Then of course we can be friends."

* * *

><p>At night Gale rolls to face her, expecting her to be waiting for him like she always is. Instead, her back is to him. She's wearing his favorite nightgown, it's sheer and soft and easy to tear over her head.<p>

"Madge?" he asks. He lightly pulls her shoulder so she rolls and her blue eyes lift to meet his. They're very cold.

"I don't want to tonight," she says. Gale cocks an eyebrow and releases his hold on her.

"Why not?"

"I just don't want to," Madge says, rolling back on her side.

He stares at her through the darkness, his eyes adjusting to the dim light of the room. Her hair, in the moonlight that barely streams through the window, looks silver. He has this uncontrollable urge to reach out and curl his fingers through it.

As he watches her something starts to build up inside of him. Guilt. She's right, he hasn't been trying. He's been purposely keeping his distance, persistently avoiding conversation and steps forward. If he could put it into words why he has to act like this he would but he just _can't_. Gale doesn't want to hate her. He doesn't want her to hate him

"An architect," he whispers. Madge shifts. He had almost hoped she had fallen asleep. "You asked me what I want to do besides being a miner. I want to be an architect. I want to build things. Create things." He curls onto his side as well, away from her. It's not much, but it's a start. He wants her to know that he's trying, that he's going to put more effort into their marriage, their friendship. "But I know that's not going to happen," he continues. "So I don't get my hopes up."

She doesn't respond. She doesn't even say goodnight.

* * *

><p>In the morning Madge is still curled away from him. Since they've been wed there have been a few nights that they've woken up tangled together, but clearly last night was not one of those nights. He would slip out before she could wake up, not wanting her to question what it means and not thinking about it himself. He'll never admit that he enjoys it, and if he's gone before she knows it's happened she can never admit to it either. Today it doesn't take much to remove himself from bed.<p>

He gets ready for work quietly but often looks over his shoulder at her sleeping. Her shoulders rise and fall peacefully as though she isn't upset at all by yesterday's events, but Gale knows that she is. Perhaps he was too harsh, telling her that he'll never love her, but he doesn't want her to get her hopes up. Madge is a nice girl. Sometimes he wishes she had been assigned to someone who_ could_ love her. And it's not that Gale can't love her specifically, it's that he can't love _anyone_. Not romantically.

Gale reminds himself that the only part of Madge Undersee's life that hasn't been perfect is the fact that she's married to him. Madge has always had money and she still has some now. She'll get to continue her love of music into adulthood; get to do what she loves for a living. She's been pampered since she was a child, has always gotten what she's wanted. Being harsh with her might have been the only way to get her to see reality.

The walk to the mines is bothersome but it's long enough to really wake him up. He passes his old street on the way and wonders if the kids are awake. Posy was always an early riser, so she's probably up, but Rory and Vick are most likely still snoozing and enjoying their Saturday off of school. Gale's stopped by a few times after work since he's been married but his promise to Rory of dropping things off every Sunday has been weak.

He's yet to go in the woods, unsure of how Madge would feel about it and not entirely too prepared to face a newly wed Katniss. She married right before him to Peeta Mellark so he missed her ceremony. Gale knows how innocent Katniss is when it comes to physical things, he can't help but wonder how that's going for her.

He reaches the elevator and takes a spot surrounded by a group of miners he doesn't know. His friend Thom arrives a bit later and joins him, smiling brightly at Gale. They knew each other in high school and have been assigned to the same work crew. Gale might not exactly enjoy the mines, but having a friend to the left of him all day definitely eases the tension a bit.

"Why's your face look like that?" he asks, nudging Thom.

His friend smirks. "None of your business."

"I'd say it's my business," Gale says. "If you're going to be chipper all day let me know now so I can start tuning out your voice now rather than later."

Thom rolls his eyes but his smirk stays. "Bristel's pregnant." The elevator begins to lower. "Doctor's confirmed it last night," Thom continues with a laugh. A few of the other miners cheer for him, reaching forward to pat Thom's shoulder. Gale's eyebrows furrow, he hasn't even asked Madge about that aspect of their relationship. He wonders if she's pregnant already, if she already knows. Or maybe not. Maybe that's why she didn't want to do anything last night, because she had her period. Either way, he should probably bring up children sooner or later. "I'm gonna have a _kid_," Thom says, still laughing. "Jesus."

It isn't until they're underground and by the wall does Gale say anything else. "You happy?" Gale asks. Thom turns to him, cocking an eyebrow. "About being with Bristel."

"Sure I am," Thom nods. "I knew her in high school but we never really talked. I always thought she was weird. She is," he says, grinning, "but not a bad weird. I think I love her." Love. Gale snorts. "Why's that funny?"

"How can you _love_ her?" Gale asks. "Because they're telling you that you have to?"

"No one's telling me anything," Thom shoots back, his eyes narrowing. "She makes me smile. She's nice, she listens to me when I talk and offers advice. Bristel's a _friend_, and she's also my wife, and if I love her, then all the better. I'm spending the rest of my possibly short life with her. I'm going to enjoy it. Make the best of it." Thom lifts his pickaxe and turns away from Gale, shaking his head. "Maybe you should do the same."

Gale swings his pickaxe with everything he's got, waiting for the ache in his joints to make him feel something.

* * *

><p><em>AN: As promised, here's your next update! And of course, this story wouldn't be possible without all the incredible feedback and help from _**juniorstarcatcher**. _Please review, let me know your thoughts!_


	4. Affair

**af·fair** _n. _1. A matter of personal concern. **2**. A romantic and sexual relationship, sometimes one of brief duration, between two people who are not married to each other.

* * *

><p>He doesn't ask Madge's permission to hop the fence, he just does it. Sunday morning when he slips out of bed she stirs, rubbing at her eyes and sitting up. The sun hasn't even risen.<p>

"Gale? What's going on?"

"I'm going to the woods," he answers. Gale greets the cool morning air as he dresses himself in his hunting outfit. "I'm going to take some things to my family." She knows what sorts of things, Madge is smart. He used to sell strawberries to her at her backdoor. She knew where he got them. "Be back later."

"What?" she sits up so that the blanket falls, still rubbing her eyes. "Hold on a second, Gale—"

"Don't wait up," he murmurs. Gale tips his head at her before leaving; she's barely even opened her eyes.

* * *

><p>He enters the woods from the same place he did when he lived in the Seam. There's a hole in the fence that is supposed to be electrocuted that he can squeeze under and escape through. Entering the woods is forbidden, punishable by death, but Gale's been risking it ever since his father died and his family needed to survive somehow.<p>

Gale finds Katniss sitting in their usual spot and the second she sees him she smiles immensely wide. Gale does, too. He feels like he hasn't smiled in forever.

"I was wondering if I was ever going to see you again," she calls as he jogs over. "It's been weeks!"

"They moved me to the mines," he says with a smirk, lowering himself to the ground next to her. "I only get Sundays off."

"You could come when you get off at night," Katniss says. She stretches backwards, her hands in the air. He catches a glimpse of the diamond ring on her left hand. "They're tiring, aren't they? The mines?"

"The absolute worst," Gale nods. But that's not what he wants to talk about. He doesn't want to talk about how he's forced underground twelve hours a day, six days a week. He doesn't want to talk about Coadunate Day or his new wife, or Katniss's new husband. He just wants to hunt. "You want to go fishing?" he asks.

* * *

><p>They've gone a few hours acting as though things haven't changed between the two of them, but Gale knew it wouldn't last. The silence is too heavy, it's too awkward.<p>

"You and Madge," Katniss says simply. She jerks her fishing rod a bit so the water ripples. "How's that working out?" Gale grunts in response. "That bad?"

"It's not _bad_," he murmurs. It just isn't… normal. "It's been rough," he admits. He will only _ever_ admit these things to Katniss. "But she… she knows what he wants." A friend. Conversation. Madge works hard to maintain these things. "We've been working through it."

It's _still_ rough from time to time. Conversations are strained but he tries his hardest not to make them awkward. He answers her questions about work and his family and supplies his own. She's started helping with dishes after dinner and every now and again they'll splash each other and laugh. It's rare, but it happens, and Gale most definitely sees it as a beginning to something.

They still argue, Gale and Madge, but it's less of fighting and more of debating. Every once in a while they'll discover they actually agree about something, and it will leave both of them stunned into silence.

It's nothing close to what Gale's mother and father had, but it works.

"You and Peeta?" he asks. He thinks she blushes. Gale has never seen Katniss blush. It unsettles him a bit, but not because he's jealous. Mostly because he's concerned. "That's doing alright, then?" Her head bobs awkwardly, her cheeks become a brighter red. "He was in front of me on Coadunate Day," Gale says. "Told me he had had some crush on this girl since elementary school, you know."

"It was me," Katniss says. She buries her face in her hands so hide her smile. "God, it was so sweet, Gale." He's going to throw up. "You know I don't… I'm not… the first night was so _awkward_ I didn't know what to do and he was so nervous and—"

"Catnip," he groans. Not her _too_. Why does everyone have to turn into _mush_ like this? He doesn't want to talk about sex with Katniss for Christ's sake.

"We sat in bed awhile and then he just exploded with this story about how when we were little he heard me sing in class and it was cheesy and kind of weird but _really cute_." She shakes her head and refuses to lift it to look at Gale. "And then we, you know, and things have been good ever since."

Of course Peeta Mellark would end up with the girl he's been in love with since elementary school, and Katniss would be wooed by him. Gale's shut himself out from the idea of love, and those who have embraced it have been in the clear. It isn't fair.

He drags his hands over his face and lets out a loud sigh. "I'm happy for you," he finally says.

"It's not as though I love him," Katniss blurts, lifting her head. "I know how you feel about all of that, Gale."

"It doesn't matter."

"But there are worse people I could've been paired with. He's a _great _guy."

"That's _great_, Katniss," he says. She bites down on her bottom lip as he reels in his line. "How many kids?"

She waits a bit. "Two." Gale's always opposed the forced marriage part of the arrangement; Katniss has despised the children aspect of it all. She never wanted kids, never wanted to bring them into this world. He supposes their lives will be better now that she's living in town with Peeta, but it still isn't the best way to be living. "I think they'll be okay," she says softly.

"I'm sure they will," Gale agrees.

* * *

><p>By the time the sun is setting Gale and Katniss have a nice haul. She talks about Peeta a bit more and how he's very accepting of her going into the woods as long as she's careful and brings back something nice for them to eat. The more Katniss talks about Peeta the happier he is for her, but also the more frustrated he gets. He tries to think of all the nice things about Madge but he doesn't feel they need to be vocalized. She's just a good person, it's not like she goes out of her way to impress Gale. Not that he's noticed, anyway.<p>

She asks if he'll be back next Sunday and he says yes, if he can get away. He's going to make sure it's okay with Madge. Since he used to bring her strawberries he's sure Madge will be okay with it, but just in case. He doesn't need any more fighting.

They split, Katniss going into town and Gale going to visit his family in the Seam. He reaches his old home and knocks a few times (which is _weird, _this was once his home for Christ's sake) before the door is opened.

Posy smiles at him and rushes forward, throwing her arms around his legs and squeezing with everything she's got. "I knew you'd come today, I knew it!"

He empties his bag for his family, a few fish and a few squirrels.

"How's Madge?" his mother asks as she helps him unload his game. His shoulders lift slightly. "Are you two getting along?"

"Yeah," Rory eggs him on from the couch with a smirk. "How _is_ she?" Gale knows what Rory is implying and shoots him a dirty look. The younger boy's smirk only widens. "Hopefully up to your standards."

"Rory," Hazelle snaps. She turns to Gale and rests her hands on his arms. "I really do hope you two are getting along. She seems like a very sweet girl, Gale. You don't have to hate her just to hate her."

He frowns. "I don't hate her." They just don't _mesh_. How can he say that to his mother without breaking her heart? Hazelle has always had such high hopes. Gale's never expected to fall in love but Hazelle was so _sure_ that he would. "You should come to dinner," Gale says. "Sometime this week. Tomorrow." Then Hazelle can see for herself. They get along just fine, Gale and Madge, but they're not ever going to be lovers. "What do you think?"

"Oh, yes!" Hazelle claps her hands together. "Yes, of course! We'll be there!"

* * *

><p>Madge is at the kitchen table when he gets home. Her head is in her hands, she doesn't even have a textbook open for school. When the door shuts she jerks upward, startled by the sound, and turns to find Gale.<p>

He paces in and drops his game bag on the ground. "You're back," she croaks, clearly having fallen asleep at the table.

"I told you not to wait up," he says, furrowing his eyebrows. Her shoulders lift slightly. "How long have you been waiting?" She doesn't answer his question. Madge rubs at her eyes and forces herself out of the wooden seat she's been in. She throws her arms backwards and Gale hears it pop. He wishes his back would crack like that. Gale extends his hand to her as if to pull her toward the bedroom. "Get some sleep, Madge," he murmurs.

"You too, then," she says, not accepting his hand. Her eyes are very tired, her shoulders are drooping. He doesn't want to think about her waiting for him to return, it doesn't sit well in his stomach. She walks over to Gale who's let his arm fall back to his side and stands a few feet in front of him. Their eyes meet. "How were the woods?"

"Refreshing," he admits. He smiles at the memory, but it drops from his face when he watches Madge's eyebrows collide. "What's that look for?"

She's quiet for a moment, her eyes searching his, waiting for _something_, before she sighs. "You love Katniss, don't you?" Gale flinches at her words, anger boiling up inside him. "It's okay if you do. I understand—"

"No," Gale barks. "I don't _love Katniss_." He points a finger toward her. "What are you implying?"

"I'm not implying anything," Madge murmurs. She rubs at her eyes and takes a step away from him. "I just know you two have been friends for a while and being in the woods alone all this time—" He paces after her, grabbing her wrist and pulling Madge so she's looking at him. "Gale."

"You think I'd have an affair," he says. His voice is sharp and cutting. "Don't you?"

"No, I—"

"You _do_!" He drops her wrist and glares at her, finding exhaustion creeping into her gaze. "You know what an affair would result in!" Everyone in _Panem_ knows what an affair would result in. "They'd take both of us, even if it wasn't your fault, and cut out our tongues. Make us Avoxes to work in the Capitol. We'd never see our family again, we'd never see _each other_."

"Gale," she cuts him off. "I know."

"I'd never do that to you," he hisses. He'd never do that to _anyone_. The risk is just too great and too many feelings are involved.

"I _know_," she says. Madge rubs her temples. "Just forget it, okay? Let's go to bed."

"You go to bed," he snaps. Her fingers lift to the bridge of her nose and she massages it with a sigh. "Christ, Madge, I'm not an _idiot_. Even if I _did_ love Katniss I'd never act on it! But it's not a problem because I _don't_."

"Okay," she says.

"Why would you even _ask_ something like that?"

"I had to know," Madge murmurs.

He narrows his eyes. "Why?"

"Because you never…" she trails off, shaking her head. Madge steps toward him, grabbing his hands and stopping him from pushing the question again. Because Gale has never seemed so happy in regards to _Madge_, and seeing him react like about Katniss has her heart sinking into her stomach. Madge's eyes meet his, full of sadness and regret.

The feel of her soft skin against his callused palms is surprisingly soothing. "Please don't yell at me anymore," she whispers. She can't take it. They've fought before but she's never asked him so gently to stop. Tension dissolves in his back and he sighs loudly. "All I did was ask you a question. You haven't smiled like that in the entire time we've been married and I mention the woods where I _know_ you spend time with Katniss and your _entire face_ lit up." The sadness in her eyes intensifies because Madge knows he'll never smile like that because of her. "I've been in love before Coadunate Day; I know what it's like."

He snatches his hands from hers. "What?"

"What?" she echoes.

He stares at her. "You've been in love before we got married?"

"That wasn't the point I was trying to make."

"Then what was the point?" That anger is back, the one that's bubbling up inside of him. "Should I be worrying about _you_?"

"Gale, _no_," Madge groans again. How can she change the subject away from this? "I was trying to say how I like to see you smile, okay?" She looks up at him and he find her cheeks a lovely sunset pink. "I wish you would do it more often." Madge shifts uneasily on her feet and steps backwards toward their bedroom. "I'm going to bed," she says. "Join me?"

It takes him a bit, but eventually he does. She's still awake by then, curled on the side and staring at the wall. He sinks into bed and fidgets until he's comfortably under the covers. Madge rolls on her back, her eyes dart over to Gale but she doesn't face him.

"Who're you in love with?" Gale asks. He tries to keep the anger out of his voice but the way Madge shifts makes it clear he isn't very good at it. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm not in love with anyone," Madge says with a frown. It might be a lie, but Gale won't know the difference. He's too thickheaded to see what's right in front of him. She turns on her side but Gale continues to stare up at the ceiling. "I was when I was younger but that time has come and gone. You can trust me that I'm over it. Okay?" He doesn't react. He doesn't know that it's different for her now. That Gale is different and it's changed everything. "_Okay_, Gale?"

"Who was it?"

"Why can't you just leave it?"

"Would _you_?"

"If you asked me too," she nods. Gale rolls onto his side now, staring at her with wide gray eyes. With a sigh she drops onto her back, her hands clench around the blanket. "It was the jeweler's son," Madge finally tells him. Gale feels as though an arrow has been shot through his heart. Heat leaks from his chest and down through his ribs, it makes him entirely uncomfortable. "I was thirteen. He came over my house a lot because my dad always has those parties for the Capitol and his family is the second richest in the district." She shakes her head and shrugs. "He was my first kiss. I thought I was going to end up with him. I was infatuated with him."

"Because he had money, too," Gale grunts. He always thought she'd end up with someone else who had money. It made sense. He still isn't too sure how he and Madge got paired together. "Right?"

"No," she mutters. "Because he was the only kid my age I was ever allowed to hang out with. And because he had these eyes… these bright green eyes that always made me feel warm." Madge looks toward him but then she quickly casts her gaze away. "He was nice to me. Maybe I didn't love him, I was young. Maybe I just thought I did."

Gale hesitates. "What happened?"

"He's two years older than me. Like you. He got matched the next Coadunate Day before I was even in the system." Madge chews down on her bottom lip for a bit. "It hurt like you wouldn't believe."

And when he says, "I'm sorry," Gale really means it.

He's sorry that he yelled at her earlier, that he accused her of what she said she would never accuse him of. Sorry that she knows the pains of heartbreak.

"I'm definitely over it," Madge tells him. "He has a child and another one already on the way. Loves his wife, his kid, his job." Gale can't help but wonder if she's jealous of this. "It wasn't meant to be. And things are different, now. Different for me." Again they're both quiet. He doesn't even think about the implications of her words. Just as Gale is about to roll over, thinking that she's fallen asleep, she speaks again. "I don't want you to hurt," Madge whispers. "Not like I did." Not like she is right now because Gale can't reciprocate any of her feelings. "That's why I asked if you loved Katniss."

"You don't need to concern yourself about my feelings," Gale says. "I've never loved anyone. I don't think I ever will."

Madge rolls on her side away from him. He barely catches it when she says, "I wish I could be that strong."

* * *

><p><em>AN: Normal daily update. I hope you're all liking it, and I love all of your reviews! This story wouldn't work without _**juniorstarcatcher** _being the lovely beta that she is. Poor Madge. Poor stupid Gale. He doesn't even realize... things take a change from here on out, I'd say! Let me know your thoughts._


	5. Progress

**prog·ress** _n._ **1. **Movement, as toward a goal; advance. **2. **Development or growth.

* * *

><p>He has never seen Madge look so nervous.<p>

She's moving back and forth from the oven to the stove to check and make sure everything she's preparing is correct. She asks Gale to try things every once in a while and even though it's searing hot and he can't taste whatever it is that's going down his throat he reassures her that it's great.

"Madge," he places his hands on her shoulders as she stirs the stew. They travel down her arms before lightly resting on her hips, a gesture he watched his father do to his mother when Gale was younger and Hazelle wouldn't stop stressing. "Calm down."

"Your entire _family_ is coming over," she says, stirring frantically as though it's going to make it taste better. "What if I screw it up? What if they don't like what I make? I hardly know how to cook I don't—" Gale spins her so she's facing him, she drops the wooden spoon into the pot. Her cheeks are pale and her hands are shaking. Gale grabs them to try and get them to stop. "What if they don't like me?"

"What's it matter if they like you or not?" he wonders. "You're my wife. That's not going to change."

"I want them to like me," she says softly. There's a tremor in her voice that causes his heart to twist. She pulls her hands from his and looks up toward the ceiling, taking a deep breath. "Of course you don't understand," Madge murmurs.

His eyebrows lift to his forehead. Understand what? Why she wants his family to like her? She probably wants them to like her because they'll be around so often. Why else would she try to hard? Madge spins back around to the stew and retrieves the wooden spoon.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asks. Before she can answer there's a quiet knock on the door. "I'll get it."

"Wait," Madge blurts. Gale halts in his step. She turns and extends her arms to herself. "Do I look okay?"

She's wearing a modest dress, it's a light blue that makes her eyes shine infinitely bright. It hugs all of her curves and shows off just the right amount of skin that gets his mind foggy. Her hair is tied up out of the way.

"You'd look better without that little crease between your eyebrows," he says. Her jaw drops slightly. "Kidding. Lighten up. You look fine." _You look beautiful_. _You look like you could conquer the world while sipping tea. I can't wait until this dinner is over so I can carry you to bed. _He spares her these comments. He doesn't want her to think they mean anything other than what they are. But do they? There's another knock. "Can I answer the door now?"

She nods and he quickly strides down the hallway. The second the door is open Posy rushes in, flinging herself at him. She squeezes his legs tightly.

"Your home is so pretty!" Posy screeches. "I love it! I love it! Where's the pretty girl?" Posy bounds past him once she's done hugging his legs and into the kitchen. "Hi!" she shouts. Oh, God. Gale dips backwards but his mother stops him, pulling him into a quick hug. "I'm Posy! You must be Madge my Momma talks about you _all_ the time!"

"Hi Ma," Gale sighs. He gestures his head. He's got to save Madge before Posy smothers her. "Vick, Rory," he ruffles both of their hair as they enter. Rory pulls the door shut with a frown, marching in after his family. Gale rushes to Posy who's tightly latched to Madge's leg, pulling her away. "C'mere, Pose," he laughs. "Let her cook."

"It's fine, it's fine," Madge smiles, blinking rapidly and pressing her hands to her cheeks to stop herself from blushing. It doesn't work. "Hi Mrs. Hawthorne."

"Please," Hazelle strides forward. "Call me Hazelle. Can I help you with anything?"

"Oh, I, um," she looks toward the stew.

"Gale, you entertain your siblings. I'd _love_ to help fix dinner." His mother shoots him a look that says _take your siblings away right this instant_ before smiling nicely at Madge. "Is that alright, dear?"

"Of course," Madge blurts. Gale offers her some sort of sympathetic smile before herding his siblings into the living room.

* * *

><p>Twenty minutes later everyone is sitting down for dinner. Gale tried his hardest to listen in to his mother conversing with Madge but his efforts were futile, as Posy yammered into his ear the entire time about how she's excited to be starting school soon, even if it's a whole year away. Rory sulked. Vick looked around and occasionally asked what something was. A cup holder. A light switch. A dictionary. Things they don't have in the Seam.<p>

And now, here they are, at the dinner table.

Gale has always loved his mother and the way she gets people to speak. "So, Madge," she turns to the blonde who is still prettily pink. "Gale tells us that you're going to finish off high school before you start your career?"

"Yes," Madge nods. She pats her mouth with her napkin and Posy does the same, even though she hasn't swallowed her stew yet. "I've always liked learning; I wanted to do it for as long as I could before getting started. You know?"

"Definitely," Hazelle nods. They are most likely going to have a child while Madge is still in school, which will complicate things, but it can all be sorted out. Pregnancy during high school is a bit of a norm now. "And this career, what is it, exactly?"

"It's known as, um," Madge shifts uneasily, casting her eyes toward Gale. She knows he doesn't look at it as a real job. "Musical arts," she exhales. Quickly she composes herself. "I'll be playing at a lot of school events, like the plays and the recitals," she says. "The piano, that is. I'll be playing the piano."

"Do you play any other instruments?" Vick asks, lifting his eyebrows high. "I want to play the fiddle."

"I know a bit about the violin and a little about the flute," Madge nods. Gale studies her, unaware of this. "I don't know much about the fiddle, I'm afraid."

"Ah, that's okay," Vick says, smiling. "Me neither."

Posy continuously remarks on how good everything tastes, and Gale has to agree. He had thought that living in the mayor's house that Madge wouldn't know a thing about cooking, that they'd always have people to do it for her, but she's surprised him on that since day one. Vick continues to ask her about music and Madge answers the best she can. Hazelle just smiles and observes, occasionally slipping in a random question to keep the conversation going. Rory says nothing, but he does eat.

By the time everyone is finished with their meal Madge isn't as pale. She smiles more often and even laughs a bit. Gale can't help but enjoy the sound of it.

They move everyone to the living room for dessert, some sort of cinnamon thing that Madge has made. "My mother made them for me all the time when I was little," she tells them. "They're in the oven now. Should be done in a bit."

"You know," Rory suddenly pipes up from his spot on the couch. Everyone turns, surprised that he's spoken. "You're really nice."

"Oh," Madge blushes again, but smiles all the same. "Thank you, Rory."

"Honestly. I don't see why Gale talks about you like you're the devil." Madge's face falls instantly. She drops her gaze to the ground and Gale glares in his brother's direction. "I don't think he could've done any better than you, really."

"Mm," Madge clears her throat and awkwardly leaps to her feet. Her smile is much more forced now. "I'm going to check on the sweets."

The minute she's gone Gale bursts from his seat over to his brother. "What the hell, Rory?"

"What's not to like about her?" Rory says, shoving Gale away by his shoulders. "She's practically perfect! Everything you want in a girl!"

"Why the hell would you _say_ something like that to her?" Gale hisses. He leaps to his feet and sprints toward the kitchen. Madge is by the sink with her back to him, her arms hugging herself tightly. She doesn't turn at the sound of his footsteps. "Hey," he whispers. She jerks her head to the side. "Madge, wait a second."

She spins instantly and Gale takes a step backwards at the sight of her with tears in her eyes.

"I thought we were making progress," she croaks. Gale steps toward her and slides his hands down her arms. "I thought things were better, that we—"

"They are, we _are_," he says. She blinks a few times and sniffles loudly, tilting her head away from him. "I never said anything like that to them," Gale murmurs. "I swear it. Rory, I don't know what's gotten into him lately, he's just been such a little shit." She laughs airily and lifts one of her hands to wipe her tears. Madge steps from his grasp. "I don't think you're the devil and I most certainly don't talk about you like you are."

"I'm surprised you talk about me all," she mumbles. As he opens his mouth to protest the timer on the counter dings and Madge wipes her eyes again. "I'm fine. Go back to your family. I'll bring the dessert."

"Madge—"

"_Go_, Gale."

With a sigh he returns to the living room. His mother's face is red as though she just gave a stern lecture to Rory in five minutes flat but the boy looks unaffected. Actually, he looks bored. Gale almost wants to say _way to go, you made her cry_, but he'd rather not have his family know that. He doesn't want Madge to be embarrassed; she had every right to get upset. He doesn't want it happening again if they judge her for her tears.

Moments later Madge returns with a plate full of cinnamon rolls. She looks perfectly fine, and in fact her smile doesn't look as forced anymore. She lowers the plate on the coffee table. Posy leaps toward it but Madge holds up her hand.

"Careful," Madge says. "They're very hot. We should let them cool for a bit."

"Oh okay," Posy nods. Madge lowers herself back into her seat and Posy crosses to sit beside her. "I don't think you're a devil," Posy says quietly. Gale groans under his breath. "You look more like an angel. Act like one too!" Madge smiles sweetly at Gale's little sister and quietly thanks her too. "You are very very pretty, Madge."

"So are you, Posy," Madge retorts. She tickles Posy's sides and the little girl giggles. "I've always wanted darker hair like yours."

The little girl lights up. "Really?"

"Oh yes," Madge nods. "And it's nice and straight. I have this awful curly mess that takes years to work out." She brushes Posy's bangs from her forehead and smiles again. Gale _likes _Madge's hair. He wonders if he's ever told her that. He likes the idea of curling his fingers through the ringlets, and the way is bounces as though it's made of sunshine. "I think they should be cool enough now," Madge says, looking toward the plate. "Do you want one?"

* * *

><p>Gale is reluctant to leave Madge alone with his siblings but Hazelle insists, dragging Gale away from the living room. Hazelle takes him to the kitchen so they can do the dishes together, apparently not wanting to be a rude guest and to clean up after herself. Madge protests, but in the end Hazelle wins out.<p>

"Honestly, Ma," Gale groans as she starts up the sink. "I know how to do dishes. I was going to do them once you all left."

"Nonsense," Hazelle throws a dishrag at him. "You dry." She pours some soap into the sink and bubbles erupt. "She's very lovely, Gale," his mother says softly. "You know that, don't you?"

"I know," he murmurs. She quickly scrapes a plate before she hands it over. "I never said she wasn't."

"The way she looks at you, dear," Hazelle sighs and smiles widely. "It's entirely too sweet." Gale dries the plate quickly and places it on the counter, cocking an eyebrow. "Don't tell me you haven't noticed it." Gale lifts his shoulders, confused. What does she mean? "Oh, sweetheart," Hazelle lets a sudsy plate sink back into the water before turning to him. "Open your eyes. I've said it before and I'll say it again. They don't just put people together for the hell of it, there's a reason behind the Capitol's madness."

"Ma—"

"It's like you're not even trying," Hazelle exhales.

They resume the dishes in silence.

* * *

><p>It takes a while for Gale to get Posy to let go of Madge but it's getting late and the kids need to get to bed. Posy hugs his wife with all she's got and whispers something Gale can't hear into her ear, which causes Madge to smile. She nods and kisses Posy on the forehead before saying goodnight. Vick hugs her too, as does Hazelle. Rory merely tips his head and smiles, but at least it's something.<p>

With his family gone the house feels empty. Madge cleans up the dishes from dessert (which everyone _loved_, and even Gale had to admit how delicious they were) and carries them to the kitchen. Gale follows after her, watching as she slips the dishes into the sudsy water that Hazelle left.

He slides his hands around Madge's hips and turns her to face him. She blinks a few times, startled by the closeness, before he dips down and lightly kisses her cheek. Gale hears her gasp quietly and can't help but smile.

"I knew you had nothing to worry about," he murmurs. Her hands snakes up and latch onto his shirt nervously. "I'll do the dishes in the morning. Okay?"

"Gale—" she protests.

"Madge," he cuts her off. "You did great with my family. They love you. Especially my mother. _Especially_ Posy." She laughs slightly and drops her forehead to his chest. Have they ever been this close when not in bed before? "I don't think you're the devil," he says.

"I would hope not."

"Let me prove it to you," he whispers. She licks her lips and stares at his. Madge lifts her eyes to Gale's and sees something that might not even be there. The way he speaks, the way he acts, Gale doesn't even seem to realize that he's slowly warming up to her. "What do you say we go to bed? Or, well, work on getting that first kid the Capitol wants so badly." A loud laugh crawls up Madge's throat which causes Gale to smile again.

Maybe if she responds enthusiastically enough he'll fall for her. Maybe if she makes love to him he'll call it something other than sex. The way he treats her, _and _her body, is so much different than how it was at the beginning. Gale's gentle. He makes every touch count. Madge thinks it's something more than it is, but of course Gale doesn't know this.

Her dress is off before they even reach the bedroom.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Daily updates are super fun, I love that you guys love this story! Again I thank _**juniorstarcatcher** _for the immense amount of help and advice and beta-ing that she's done. Let me know your thoughts!_


	6. Lost

**lost** _adj._ **1. **No longer in existence; vanished or spent: **2. **Beyond reach, communication, or influence.

* * *

><p>Gale rolls over in the middle of the night. His hands outstretch for Madge, a sort of commonplace these past few days ever since his family had come for dinner, and he finds the other side of the bed cold. Gale sits up at once, rubbing his eyes and trying to find her. The bathroom light isn't on, which means she's not there, but then where…<p>

He sits up entirely and rubs the gunk from his eyes. He glances out of the bedroom into the hallway and finds a light on.

Despite the fact that he has to work in a few hours and should honestly just roll over, Gale shoves his blankets off and forces himself to his feet. He half walks half stumbles to the kitchen where Madge is sitting at the table with her head in her hands.

"Madge," he murmurs. She leaps at the sound of his voice, lifting her head to find him. Her smile is weak. She glances back down at a textbook she has open. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Studying," she rasps. "I've got a test tomorrow. I woke up and realized I didn't know a thing that I was supposed to and—" she stops speaking when he moves to stand behind her, carefully sliding his hands up and down her arms. "I've got to study," she whispers.

"Come back to bed," he responds, just as softly. He wants her to come back to bed. His hands stop right by her neck; he kneads her shoulders lightly and smiles when she leans into him. He wants her to follow him into their bedroom and curl up with him. "Come sleep."

"Gale," she sighs loudly. It takes all he's got not to dip down and kiss her throat. "I can't."

"Studying like this isn't going to help you learn anything. You're tired, I know you are." She tips her head forward in confirmation. "Besides, what does playing the piano have to do with," he looks at her textbook and frowns, "the history of coal mining?" She giggles a bit and he laughs too. "Come on, Madge. Please?"

"Gale…" so he does it, he kisses her throat. She mews quietly and tips her head forward again. "Okay. I'll come to bed."

"Mm, good," he chuckles. Gale pulls her out of her seat and guides her back to their bedroom, refusing to acknowledge that he needs her beside him to sleep comfortably.

* * *

><p>One Sunday afternoon when Gale gets back from the woods he finds Rory waiting outside his house. Gale cocks an eyebrow at his brother who shrugs nervously.<p>

"Can I come in?" the younger asks.

Gale frowns, pushing open the door. "Madge is here. You could've knocked."

"I didn't know how you felt about that," Rory responds pointedly. Gale narrows his eyes in annoyance. Rory's the one that told Madge Gale talks about her like she's the devil. Which he _doesn't_. He follows his older brother inside the house. "I've got to talk to her. Can I do that? Do you care?"

"Care about what?" Madge's voice rings out from the kitchen. "Gale, who're you talking to?" The two brothers hear her footsteps before she suddenly appears. "Oh. Hi Rory." He tips his head at her. Madge looks back and forth between Gale and his brother. "Is everything okay?"

"Rory wants to talk to you," Gale says, lifting his eyebrows. He nudges his brother in Madge's direction. "Don't have too much fun without me. I'm going to shower."

"Don't use the last of the shampoo," Madge says as he walks away. "I need to get some more tomorrow."

"No promises," Gale calls back.

He waits a few seconds before doubling back, leaning on the outside wall of the kitchen so he can hear in. A chair is pulled out and then someone scoots back in.

"Is something wrong?" Madge asks. Her voice is so concerned even Gale can feel it. "You look upset."

"I don't know who else to talk to," Rory mumbles. Gale edges closer, his brother's voice is so quiet. He peaks into the room and finds that both of their backs are to him. "I can't talk to Gale because he doesn't understand, and my Ma, I just, that's _weird_, but you seemed, the other night you seemed cool."

Madge laughs slightly before lowering herself into the chair next to Rory. "I like to think I'm cool. I am only sixteen, you know."

"Yeah but you're married," Rory murmurs.

"Mm. Doesn't mean a thing. So tell me what's wrong."

"I just," Rory groans, dropping his head into his hands. "I like a girl and I don't know what to do about it." The two in the kitchen are silent for a moment before Madge lifts her hand and gently rests it on Rory's shoulder. Is this why Rory's been such a brat lately? "Gale, he'd tell me that I'm being dumb. You know how he is with feelings, I'm sure."

"He seems to have none," Madge murmurs back. Rory snorts. Gale rolls his eyes, that clearly isn't true. At least not recently. "Okay, so you like a girl."

"Her name's Prim," Rory says, nodding. Oh, that traitor! Prim is Katniss's younger sister! "She's… she's everything good. No one's made me smile like she has, no one makes me laugh like she does. I don't want to say that I love her because I know that I'm only twelve years old for Christ's sake—" he stops talking when Madge giggles. "Why is that funny?"

"I thought I was in love with someone when I was thirteen," Madge says back. "Love knows no limits, Rory. It just kind of happens." Rory groans again and Madge removes her hand from his shoulder. "Like you said, Rory, you're only twelve. You have a few more years until Coadunate Day."

"But what if something happens between us and then we get paired up with different people but I already love her and there's nothing I can do about it?"

"Then there's nothing you can do about it," Madge tells him gently. "Coadunate Day can be a blessing and a curse. I'm sure you've heard that plenty of people who were dating have been matched together."

Rory nods. "My parents did."

"See? It's not impossible if it's really love. And if you don't get matched together, well," Madge lifts her shoulders slightly. "I like to think it happens for a reason. The Capitol, they don't go out of their way to put you with someone you hate. The tests they run, they're meant to help people find someone who they can be happy with."

Rory tilts his head toward her. "Are you happy with Gale?"

"He's a fair husband," Madge answers immediately. "We always eat dinner together and he helps around the house. Sometimes he'll even joke with me, if you can imagine it."

"Gale's a great guy underneath his impossibly hard exterior shell," Rory responds. Gale smiles, liking that his brother is defending him, even if it's only slightly. "That doesn't mean you're happy, though." They fall quiet for a moment and Gale leans toward them, wondering if they've just dropped their voices. Then Rory asks, "Do you love him?" Madge doesn't respond right away. In fact, she shifts away from him. Gale feels his throat closing up and he squints as though it will help him hear her answer. "Do you _hate_ him?"

"No, Rory, I… it's complicated, okay?"

"Why's it complicated? You just said the tests the run help people find someone they can be happy with. Someone they can love. Well why don't you love Gale?" Madge drags a hand through her hair and Gale dips backwards behind the wall, knowing she always looks over her shoulder when she's looking for a distraction. "You do, don't you?"

Gale tenses up. Madge most certainly does _not_ love him. She wouldn't be that stupid.

"Rory," Madge shakes her head. "I'm happy with him," she finally says. Her voice is so soft it's as though if she talks any louder it's going to shake. "He takes care of me and he's not _always_ short with me and—"

"It's supposed to be simple," Rory cuts her off. "You find someone you love and you stay with them. Or you're with someone and then you learn that you love them. It's happened so many times for so many people. Why not you and Gale? He doesn't talk about you like you're the devil, honestly, I was just upset when I said that and—"

"Gale doesn't believe in those sorts of things," Madge says quickly. She's desperate to end this conversation. Gale's relieved Rory has cleared that whole _devil _thing up a bit. "He's never been in love and he told me that he's never going to be. Alright? I'm not going to push it any further. If he doesn't want to love I can't force him to. I'll take awkward conversations about the weather over no conversation at all with him."

Gale rests his head backwards on the wall. She's never said anything like this to _him_.

"He could," Rory protests. "He just hasn't found the right girl, and _you_—"

"But Prim, this girl," Gale hates how good she is at changing the subject and groans under his breath, but then finds himself wondering why he needs Rory to stand up for him. Madge is right, not Rory. Madge has been straightforward, Rory's the one trying to mess things up. "If she wants to love you, and you want to love her, I say why not?"

"Love hurts," Rory says. "That's what Gale always told me."

"I hate to break it to you but sometimes your brother is a dunderhead." Gale rolls his eyes again and Rory giggles. "I read something once. It said: _it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all_." Gale wants to leap out and tell his brother not to do it. Love is a trap. It will break your heart. Gale has spent his entire life building up walls so he doesn't have to feel the heartbreak he knows so many others have faced. "Do what makes you happy, Rory. If that means loving Prim, then so be it."

Rory is quiet for a moment before Gale hears a sigh. "Thanks, Madge." More silence. "I hope… I hope you and Gale, whatever is going on there—"

"Don't you worry about that," Madge shushes him immediately. "Speaking of Gale, I don't think I hear the shower. I hope he hasn't broken it." Oh, shit. Gale sprints off to the bathroom as quickly and quietly as he can. He isn't even behind the door a few seconds before there's a knock. "You okay in there?"

"Brushing my teeth," Gale lies. His eyes lift until they meet his reflection. Worry lines are forming on his forehead. He clenches the counter with all he's got. "Why? What's wrong?"

"Just checking. I'm going to ask Rory to stay for lunch, is that okay?"

"Mm, fine," Gale calls through the door. He doesn't let out the breath he's been holding in until he hears Madge footsteps fade away. He starts up the shower before he can let Madge's words get to him like they've gotten to Rory.

* * *

><p>Gale walks Rory home at the end of his visit, wanting to get a moment alone with his brother and crush any sort of fantasy Madge has instilled in his mind. Rory thanks Madge multiple times before they leave and even smiles, which unsettles Gale immensely.<p>

"What'd you want to talk to Madge about?" Gale asks when they're on the road. Rory shrugs his shoulders. "Don't give me that. It was obviously something."

"You wouldn't understand," Rory says.

"Why does everyone say that to me? That I wouldn't understand." Rory picks up his pace and Gale reaches out, grabbing the hem of his shirt and pulling him backwards. "I know that you've got feelings for Prim," Gale says.

Rory snaps around to look at him. "You were eavesdropping?"

"Of course I was eavesdropping, you've been a brat and I wanted to know why!" Rory pushes Gale's hands away from him and takes a step backwards, crossing his arms angrily over his chest. "Why didn't you come to me?"

"Because _you don't understand_," Rory says. "Ever since dad died you've closed yourself off, Gale. You don't talk about feelings with anyone, you don't let yourself feel anything. Every time you went out with a girl Ma always hoped it was a date, that maybe you'd start caring about someone, but you never did! You don't know what it's like!"

"I did that for good reason," Gale scowls. "You said it yourself when you were talking to Madge. Coadunate Day could tear you apart. It can break your heart!"

"You've never had your heart broken before!" Rory yells. "How would you know? How can you protect yourself from something you've never even been through?"

"Because I have!" Gale booms. Rory freezes and narrows his eyes. Gale steps toward his brother. "My heart broke when dad died in the mines," Gale tells his brother quietly. "And it broke when I saw Ma sitting alone in the living room crying over a picture of him. And it broke when I realized Posy would never get to see her father. And it _fucking hurt_." Gale rests his hands on Rory's shoulders. "Magnify that by ten thousand, and that's what heartbreak feels like when you're in love. A punch to the gut that you can never catch your breath from. A hammer to your skull. Do you remember how Ma was after the collapse?"

"But she, she—"

"Her heart broke," Gale says. "And mine broke for her. Imagine if you or I fell in love with someone and then they were gone. They were taken. They died. Or you had to watch them fall in love with someone else. Goddammit, Rory, just _pretending_, hurts!" Rory drags his hands through his hair and looks toward the ground, he doesn't know what it's _like_. Sometimes Gale will wake up in the middle of the night to Madge wrapped around him and he'll wonder what it would be like to wake up alone. Just those brief moments, those fractions of seconds that Gale considers a life without her are painful. Imagine if he _loved_ her, how much _worse_ it would be! "What Madge told you about going for it… _don't_. I don't want to see you in pieces."

"No," Rory shakes his head. "I agree with what Madge said. It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. Can you imagine Ma if she had never loved Pa? She _still_ loves him, even though he's gone. That's how she can take care of all of us like she does."

"Rory—"

"You're just scared," his brother says. "You're a coward. Madge loves _you_, you know. She loves you so much that she won't ever admit to it because she knows you will never love her back!"

"No she doesn't," Gale frowns. And no he's _not_ a coward. He's strong. He's made himself strong. And it's his marriage anyway, not Rory's! Madge knows Gale will never love her, she would _never_ develop feelings for him. Would she? "Did she tell you that?"

"It's obvious enough that she didn't need to," Rory says. He takes another step backwards as Gale shakes his head. She doesn't, she can't. Madge can't love him it would ruin everything they've worked for, every moment they've built together. "She's your wife and you're taking everything you have with her for granted. Why can't you just embrace it? I don't understand you!" Rory steps away again. He doesn't understand why Gale is so _awful_ about all of this. "I can get home by myself. Thanks for having me over, Gale."

Rory walks away, leaving Gale alone in the middle of the street wondering why this is so important to him.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Hello! Rory's not mean, he's just... you know. Distracted. And upset that Gale has found someone who loves him and he doesn't love her back when Rory might not get that chance. You know? As always my love goes out to_ **juniorstarcatcher **_for being the quick patient and amazing beta that she is. Let me know your thoughts! Just four more chapters left!_


	7. Worry

**wor·ry** _v. intr. _To feel uneasy or concerned about something; be troubled.

* * *

><p>Everything inside of Gale's being is screaming at him to ignore everything his family has said, but the night after Rory comes over he can't help but look at Madge differently.<p>

He watches as she brushes her hair from her face and behind her ear. She chews on her bottom lip when she doesn't think Gale's looking. Sometimes Madge will laugh to herself at something she's reading, and Gale finds himself smiling. More than once her eyes lift and meet his but Gale looks away quickly. There's something in her eyes that Gale is fascinated with, the collision of soft dawn blue with deep evening blue that in collaboration with her golden hair make her look like a sunny day. She has lovely skin, smooth and porcelain like, and her cheeks turn the most wonderful color when she blushes.

Rory's words, his mother's words, they're getting to him. He denies it to himself but in truth he's always seen it. The attraction to her has been building up since day one and now it's bubbled over the surface. He's finally _seeing_ her as she deserves to be seen, as she's always been.

"Gale," she finally murmurs. He shifts so their eyes meet and again she blushes. "Will you quit staring at me? I'm trying to study."

"I'm not staring at you."

"Yes you are. I can feel it." She smiles slightly, one that fills him with a warmth he has never felt before. "Have I got something on my face?"

"No," he chuckles, shaking his head. "No, nothing." Her smile widens and she drops her eyes down to the book on her lap. "You look nice, is all," Gale finally says.

She smirks. "I'm in pajamas, Gale."

"Yeah, and?"

She giggles and Gale feels flowers blooming in his ribcage. "Never mind." She goes back to reading. He goes back to watching. Neither of them say a thing.

* * *

><p>The next Sunday Gale is home earlier than usual. He finds Madge in the kitchen humming to herself as she scrubs the kitchen floor. She clearly hasn't heard him come in and he watches her for a moment. He observes the sweat on her brow, the loose strands of hair that have fallen from her ribbon and are framing her face. Eventually, he clears his throat.<p>

Madge jerks up, wiping down her shirt as though she's been caught doing something she shouldn't have.

"You're early," she blurts.

"You're cleaning," he responds. Gale lifts his eyebrows. "I wondered how our house always seemed so spotless. You just do it when I'm not around."

"Well," Madge pushes herself to her feet. Her knees are dark red, he wonders if they hurt. "Someone's got to do it, and I'd rather you not see me looking like a mess." If he won't admit to being attracted to her any other time (besides that one time the other night that she plays in a loop in her mind) she doubts it's going to happen when she's sweating buckets and smells. Madge wipes her forehead with the back of her hand. "So yes, that's exactly what I do."

"Mm." Should he tell her she looks cute? Probably not. Gale pulls something out from behind his back and revels in the way that her eyes widen. "Got you something."

"Oh, Gale," she steps toward him slowly and accepts the basket from his hands. He picked the basket up from the Hob but filled it himself. It's nearly overflowing with cranberries. "You… wow. Um." She brushes back her bangs and smiles wonderfully. "Thank you."

"They're for helping Rory the other day," Gale says. She quickly moves to the sink, smiling over her shoulder at him. "I know he's a brat."

"He is _not_."

"I would've gotten you strawberries but they're out of season. I know those are your favorites."

"They are," she nods, surprised he remembered.

"These cranberries are pretty good though, I had a few," Gale says. It's well into autumn now, mid-November, the leaves are already starting to fall off of the trees. He follows her to the sink, making sure not to step in any wet spots on the floor, and leans on the counter. "I remember you used to buy every kind of berry from me and Katniss."

Madge sets the basket in the sink and paces over toward him. She wraps her arms around his waist and squeezes tightly, completely forgetting that she's been cleaning all day. Gale is frozen for a moment before he moves his own arms around her. She rests her cheek against his chest and sighs happily.

They haven't hugged before. They've stood very close, but never embraced like this. This is their first hug. And it's really nice.

She smells like bleach and sugar, her warm body pressed against his is oddly comforting after such a long week. It makes the aching in his bones dissipate, the cramps in his muscles loosen. Gale decides at once that he prefers this over the arguments any day. In fact, she and Gale haven't argued for days. He likes the peace.

"Thank you," she says again, her voice muffled by his shirt. His fingers fiddle with the tips of her hair. He doesn't know how long they stay like that. He doesn't mind.

* * *

><p>Gale has been home from work for two hours now and Madge has yet to arrive. He's showered off and everything, spent an unruly amount of time trying to distract himself. Where could she possibly be? He glances outside and finds it dark and feels an aching in his toes.<p>

Just as he's about to pull on his jacket and dart into the district to find her, the front door opens. He strides into the hallway, his eyes wide and his hands outstretched.

"Where've you been?" he blurts. Madge looks at him with her eyebrows furrowed, though there's a small smile on her face. "Do you even know what time it is?"

"Calm down, Gale," she shuts the door behind her and starts to unravel a scarf around her neck. "I told you yesterday I was going to visit my mother today. I invited you but you said you had to work, remember? It's her birthday."

"I didn't think you'd be this late!" he exclaims. He also _might've_ forgotten. Gale strides toward her, grabbing her hands and pulling her closer. "You know the kind of people that are out at night, Madge," Gale says, shaking his head. Those who have lost their partners that wait to pull helpless people into alleys. Men who will force her against her will to have sex because they no longer have anyone to do it with. Terrifying, hopeless people that would go straight for her. He's holding her hands so tightly it's as though he's trying to squeeze an understanding into her of the situation. "What if something happened to you? What if—" he stops talking when she laughs. "Why're you laughing at me? I'm being serious!"

"You're really cute when you worry," she answers with a shrug.

Gale's mouth opens and closes, trying to figure out what he wants to say, before he realizes he doesn't want to say anything. He can talk to her for hours trying to make her understand how worried he really was, but it won't _do_ anything. She won't know unless he can make her feel it. Unless he permits himself to feel it himself.

Imaging Madge in the hands of one of those men, someone who would degrade her and use her, someone who doesn't value her like he does, pushes him over the edge. He can't do it anymore. Gale can't lie to himself any longer.

He dips down and captures her lips with his, releasing his hold on her hands and tugging her hips toward him, needing her body against his. Madge gasps into his mouth and springs onto her tiptoes. Her hands immediately slide up past his cheeks and latch behind his neck. He kisses her with everything he's got, leaning into her, sliding his tongue over her bottom lip and moaning into her mouth as she kisses him back.

They start moving toward the bedroom and she releases him so she can shrug off her jacket which he tries to help without pulling away from her. When the coat is gone he drops down below her rear and lifts her up against him. Madge tightens her legs around his hips and they stumble as he presses against her. They end up by the wall, Gale burning kisses across her jaw and down her throat.

"Don't do it again," he pants into her neck. "Don't scare me like that."

"If this is the result I most _definitely_ will," she breathes back.

Madge lifts his chin back up to her so they can kiss again. Her mouth is oh so sweet. She tugs on his hair and causes him to groan into her mouth. Madge's hands frantically tug at his shirt until it's peeled from his body, thrown onto the floor without a care in the world. She squeezes closer to him putting pressure in the most _wonderful_ areas and Gale pulls away from the wall. It takes a bit but they make it to their bedroom, collapsing on their bed together.

* * *

><p>After it's been said and done they lie tangled together. Madge traces swirls onto Gale's bare chest and he curls his fingers through her perfectly golden hair. Every now and then he'll dip down, quickly pressing his lips to hers and loving the way she sighs into his mouth.<p>

"I never thought you'd kiss me like that," she admits after a bit. During sex Gale kisses her everywhere _but_ her mouth. He thinks this is much more intimate, and much more lovely. "I never thought you'd kiss me at all, actually."

"Mm," just to prove her wrong he does again. Gale leans over her, cupping her cheek to tilt her head in the right way, before gently pressing his lips to hers. "Why not?"

"You're made it clear that was never on the agenda," she murmurs. Madge blinks a few times, her eyes searching his. "What changed?"

Gale hesitates. He isn't sure how much he's willing to admit. "I pictured you in the arms of someone else, getting hurt," he finally answers. "And I didn't like it. No, I couldn't _stand_ it." She blinks again before her lips curl upward and her cheeks erupt into a wildflower pink. "You're beautiful. Have I ever told you that?"

"You have not," she says airily, laughing as he pulls away.

He smirks and uncurls his finger from her hair before sliding his hand down her side and tugging her naked body closer. "How on earth did I get so lucky?"

"God, Gale," she drops her head backwards on the pillows. "Don't talk like this if it doesn't mean anything."

"It means exactly what I'm saying," he says. It means that she's beautiful. It means that he's lucky he was assigned to her. It means he can't carry on like before, but he still has his limits. Her eyes twinkle and she hopes for more, but he cannot promise her anything of the sort. "I'm being honest," he murmurs, stretching forward so he can kiss her forehead. "For all the times I haven't said something," he kisses the spot between her eyes, "but should've." Her fingers grip at the comforter and she smiles sweetly. She wants more. She wants him to kiss her senseless and proclaim the thing he's spent so long saying he never would. Instead he says, "Leave a note next time you go out." Gale slides his hand back up her side. His fingers lift to stroke her cheek. "I was just about ready to call on a search party."

"I told you I was going to visit home," Madge says. She decides that there must be more than one way to say _I love you_. For tonight, she'll take this. "You don't need to worry about me."

"I wasn't worried," he lies. Madge presses herself forward and captures his lips. "Too much," he adds, murmuring against her mouth.

"It's late," she says, falling back onto the bed and away from him. "We should get some sleep."

Gale nods, pulling her body flush against his and burying his nose into her neck. "Goodnight, Madge," he whispers. She sighs in response, and it's one of the most wonderful noises he's ever heard.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Yay yay yay yay yay. I really have a test I have to study for. I hope you liked the chapter! As always _**juniorstarcatcher** _is my savior and the greatest human in the world for betaing. Let me know what you think!_


	8. Forget

**for·get** _v. _To treat with thoughtless inattention; neglect.

* * *

><p>Ever since he's kissed her things around the house are wonderful. He'll walk in and find her smiling to herself as she sweeps or puts away the dishes. Gale helps with dinner. They tease each other about things that don't matter. They laugh genuine, hearty laughs. And they kiss, and it's <em>wonderful<em>.

One day they're on the couch and she's reading for pleasure, chewing on her bottom lip as her eyes dart across the page. Gale stares as she gnaws on her lip as though it's going to fall off and lets out a huff of air.

"Will you quit that?" he asks. Her eyes dart up, narrow, and then return to her book. She doesn't stop. "Christ, Madge."

"Wha—_what_?"

"Chewing on your lip like that, it's driving me insane." Madge lowers her book and laughs, shaking her head slightly. "C'mere."

"Gale, I'm trying to read." He grabs her ankle and tugs her down the couch toward him. "Gale!" she laughs again, quickly marking her page with her bookmark and tossing the small paperback onto the coffee table. He pulls her legs so they're around his hips and doesn't wait a moment, dipping in and capturing her lips quickly. Her hands slide up the scruff on his chin and he grins. "I like your scruff," she murmurs.

"Oh?" She giggles as he delivers a rapid succession of light kisses to her upper lip. "I like your mouth."

"Romantic," she drones. Gale chuckles as she tightens her legs around him. Madge has gone from being hesitant to being rather daring. She starts to trail kisses down his throat and tightens her legs around his hips as he drops his head backwards. "Gale?" she asks.

"Mm?" The feeling of her breath against his skin is intoxicating, her presences makes him feel drunk. When Madge doesn't respond he lifts his head up, finding her staring at him with wide blue eyes. "Yeah?"

"Nothing," she quickly shakes her head. "Never mind." She kisses him again before he can question it.

And then a few days later they're sitting on the floor in the living room folding laundry when he suddenly craves the feel of her lips against his. Madge is trying her dammed hardest to fold one of Gale's old plaid shirts but part of it keeps sticking out. He chuckles, reaching to grab it from her, but she pulls back.

"I can do it," Madge protests. She wants to prove that she's worthy. She wants to prove that she's a good wife.

"Let me show you," he yanks on the shirt. He wants to help her. He wants to show her that they're _together_ in this. He knows a few things he can pass along to his brilliant wife.

"No, I—" they play tug-of-war for a bit before she groans. "I can do it!" There's a loud tearing noise and Madge releases her hold on the shirt at once. "Oh my God," her face is filled with such panic that she can't even look up at Gale. "Oh, God, I'm so sorry, I—"

"Madge," he laughs and pulls the shirt up. It's just a tiny tear, the scream from the fabric made it seem worse than it really is. "Don't worry about it. It's just a small hole."

"I'll fix it," she says, her eyes focused on the shirt. "I'll sew it up, I'll—" he cuts her off by throwing the shirt at her face. "Gale!" She throws it back at him and he dodges it, lunging toward her with a grin. He presses his mouth to hers quickly. "I ripped it," she murmurs as they part, her eyes still unable to meet his. "Aren't you mad?"

"Christ, Madge," they lower so her back is on the floor and Gale is hovering above her. He brushes her bangs from her forehead. "I helped. Shit happens." He dips down again and presses a kiss to the corner of her mouth. "Let's just forget about it, okay?"

"I'll fix it," Madge says again, her eyes still filled with worry that she's made some sort of fatal mistake. She's been so patient, waiting for Gale to show some sort of interest in her, and of course when he _finally _does she has to go and ruin it. He's going to realize that she's a screw up, that he made a mistake when he took things one step further. "I—"

"I said _forget about it_," Gale whispers. He doesn't understand what she's so worried about. If he hadn't been so insistent on showing her how to fold it then it wouldn't have ripped, the entire thing is his fault. His body presses against hers and he can feel her cheeks heat up under the pressure. "Let's forget about all of it. Just for a bit."

Her eyebrows lift. "All of it?"

"Being adults," he says. "We're still teenagers. Let's act like teenagers for the rest of the day. Forget that we're married and—" she arches forward, lacing her hands behind his neck and kissing him with everything she's got. Her smile as she kisses him is infectious. Soon they're laughing as they kiss, her hands sneak under his shirt and her fingers dance up his chest. She latches her legs around his hip and with all her weight rolls the two of them so he's below her instead. "Mm," he grins as she burns kisses down his throat, willingly letting her hold him down.

"Gale," she murmurs. He tips his head to tell her that he's heard her. "Why'd you kiss me the other day?" He sits up slightly, propping himself up on his elbows and narrowing his eyes. Where's this question coming from? "And all the times since?"

"Because I wanted too," he answers. Madge blinks a few times, her hands slowly snaking back down his chest. That wasn't the answer she wanted. The bluntness of his words feels like a hand squeezing at her heart, causing her chest to tighten. "Because I _like_ you." He sits up more but she doesn't pull away from him. He thought that she _wanted_ this? "The very first night," he reminds her, "you said I could kiss you." Why is she suddenly changing her mind?

"I'm not saying I don't enjoy it," she huffs.

He tilts her chin up. "Then what's the problem?" Madge bites down on her bottom lip and tilts her head away from him. He can't explain it himself, this sudden onset of attraction to her. No, that's not right, he's always been attracted to her. This is something else. This is something more he can't admit to out of fear of what it means. He won't admit it to himself but he cares about her past the point of this sort of friendship they've established. He cares about her as a girlfriend, maybe even something more. "Forget about it," Gale whispers for the third time. This is an entirely new context.

Forget about the shirt. Forget about what the kisses _mean_. Just _forget_.

He can't think about it. He _can't_.

"What am I to you?" she breathes. Her fingers trace along the scruff of his jaw. He pulls away from her and she edges off of his lap. "Gale—"

"What do you want from me?" he murmurs. "Can't we just not think about what any of it means for a day?"

"It's all I think about," she responds. His mouth curves downward. She drums her fingers a bit before sighing. "Okay." If he doesn't want to talk about it now, maybe he'll want to talk about it later. She's terrified that if she pushes him too far he'll take it all back. That he'll change his mind, realize he doesn't want what they've finally started to create. "Okay, we can just not think about it." She lifts herself back onto his lap and cradles his face within her hands. "I didn't say anything."

He knows, by the way that little _u_ appears between her eyebrows, that she's upset. And he doesn't want that either. Seeing her upset make him feel sick. "Madge—"

She cuts him off with a kiss. "Forget about it," she whispers. Another kiss. "I'll forget about it."

But they both know that she's lying. He kisses her anyway.

* * *

><p>It's morning and Madge is out of bed before Gale. She likes to be up early Mondays and he absolutely hates it. She's brushing her teeth in the bathroom when Gale's alarm goes off. He groans, rubs his eyes, wishes he could pull her close like he can on every <em>other<em> day of the week, and forces himself to wake up. He rubs his eyes and strides into the bathroom, finding her probing at her neck as she uses her toothbrush.

He chuckles. "What're you doing?"

"You gave me a hickey," she mutters. "A lot of them, actually. Look." Madge tilts her head and brushes her curly hair out of the way, giving Gale a view of the bruises. He chuckles again, reaching forward to rub one of them himself. "If I had makeup I'd cover them up but I don't so now I have to go to school and—"

"Look like you had a good night?" he asks, cutting her off. Madge rolls her eyes and spits into the sink. "Well did you?"

"I did, but the whole district doesn't need to know that."

"Mm, why not?" He wraps his arms around her waist and nuzzles into her neck. He can't help but like the idea of everyone knowing that Madge is his. He presses another kiss to her collarbone and she shoves him away so she can spit out her toothpaste again, frowning at him in the mirror. Suddenly a memory stirs somewhere in the back of Gale's mind. _Love bites_. That's what his father used to call hickeys. Gale clears his throat as though she has read his mind. Madge turns on the sink and rinses off her toothbrush before prying his hands from her hips. "Aw, don't be so touchy."

"Brush your teeth," she scowls. "You have morning breath." Gale grins and tightens his grip. He rests his chin on her shoulder and noses at her throat until she smiles. "I've got to finish getting ready," Madge says quietly.

"I guess." His hands travel from her hips to her stomach. Madge is so tiny and small, he wonders how her body is going to change when a baby is on the way. She tilts her head down to watch the gesture itself rather than in the mirror. "Are you pregnant?" he asks.

She laughs lightly, her eyebrows shoot to her forehead in surprise. "No. I'd tell you if I was."

"Shame," he frowns. He knows they've got to have kids soon. Besides, they've been going at it like crazy, especially these past few days. It's bound to be in the near future. "I'm looking forward to it, you know." Madge turns so she's looking up at him. "I've never really liked Coadunate Day but I've always wanted kids."

"Well you'll have two," she tells him. Her eyes brighten as she smiles. "Maybe more." Gale grins and dips down to kiss her but she peels away. "Ah, ah. Brush your teeth."

* * *

><p>They don't have sex anymore, they're intimate and passionate instead, losing themselves in the feel of one another rather than getting it over with as though it's forced. It's not sex, <em>it's making love<em>. Everything is so much nicer, every feeling of pleasure, every gasp and pant. This is what it must feel like, he thinks, to care about someone. To want to satisfy Madge, to anticipate the way she says his name and the whimpers of pleasure that escape her. They haven't fought in days. They haven't argued about anything. Even if Madge gets frustrated about something Gale can easily calm her down with a few kisses.

Tonight is different.

They've done what Madge likes to think of as _making love_ and have yet to fall asleep. They're curled together, her head on his chest and his fingers twisting through her hair. Neither of them has spoken in minutes. Their bodies are sweaty, her smile is sweet and his is warm.

It must slip out. It must. She must not have meant to say it, to ruin such a perfect moment.

"I love you," she whispers. Gale freezes, his entire body turning cold. He looks down at her and she lifts her head, it takes a moment before her eyes meet his. He stares at her, blinking, waiting for her to take it back. "I love you," she repeats quietly.

"I heard you."

"Then why didn't you say anything back?" she asks. Gale blinks again, shifting further away from her. "Say it back," she pleads.

"I can't," Gale croaks. Madge moves upwards and away from him, and Gale moves to sit as well. "I just, I can't, Madge." He shakes his head. "I'm sorry, I just—"

"Don't love me," she finishes for him. Gale reaches up and rubs at his face. "Why not? I thought… I know you told me… you said that you'd never love me, but these past few weeks, you… I thought maybe—"

"I _told you_," he says. "At the beginning of all of this, I _told you_ that I'd never love you." Her chin quivers and his heart breaks. "Since day one you _knew_ I couldn't give you that."

"That isn't fair," she cries. "You can't treat me like you have and say that it doesn't mean anything!"

"You are so perfect," Gale says. He goes to grab her hands but she pulls them away from him. "Madge, you're admirable and smart and witty and you make me laugh like no one else. You're my wife and I am _so lucky_."

"Lucky," she repeats with a laugh. He feels his ribs tighten. She doesn't _feel_ very lucky.

"If I love you then they win," he spouts out. Madge narrows her eyes at him, waiting for him to continue. "I've spent my entire life not allowing myself to love anyone," Gale tells her. "When my dad died it shattered my mom to bits because of how deeply she loved him. If I love you, if I admit to how I feel about you then not only do I put myself at risk of complete and utter heartbreak in case something happens, but I allow the Capitol to continue to believe that coadunation is the correct way to continue running the country."

"Well what if it is?" Madge asks. She casts her eyes down. "It doesn't mean they win if you love me, Gale, it means _we_ win! They put us together and I… I _do,_ I _do _love you, and I know so many other people that love their partners, and if they hadn't put us together then we never would've been like we are and—"

"It's just not how I see it," Gale cuts her off. She blinks a few times, tears filling her eyes as she turns away from him. "Madge—"

"Whether you admit how you feel or not," she says, "you're still putting yourself at risk. You can say it aloud or you can lie to yourself, but if you love me you love me." Madge looks up at him and wipes at her eyes. "You said if you admit to how you feel about me, which means there's something there. How do you feel about me?"

"I _can't_," he shakes his head.

"You're _weak_," she rasps. "You think love is what makes you weak but it doesn't. You're a coward, Gale!" She rolls on her side away from him and swats his hand away as he reaches for her. "Just say it," she pleads, peering over her shoulder. "Just _say it_."

But he doesn't. He can't. She shoves herself from the bed and sprints out of their bedroom with tears in her eyes. He hears a door slam shut. No matter the number walls in between them, he can hear her crying. And it hurts him more than anything.

* * *

><p><em>AN: I usually proofread one last time before posting but I'm sick and going back to bed, so that's not happening. Sorry for any mistakes, they're mine and not _**juniorstarcatcher**_'s who is the most wonderful beta in the world! Love you all._


	9. Terrified

**ter·ri·fied** _tr.v. _To fill with terror; make deeply afraid.

* * *

><p>In the morning Madge is not in bed when he stirs. It's still dark outside, not even dawn yet. She hasn't been sleeping in the same room as him since that night. He smells coffee wafting from the kitchen. With a yawn Gale sits up and forces himself out of bed. It takes him a bit but he finally enters the kitchen where Madge is staring out the window behind the sink. She has a white mug in her hands and is sipping her drink quietly.<p>

Gale eases his arms around her waist and hates the way she tenses up. "Morning," he murmurs. He dips down to kiss the side of her face but she flinches away from him, stumbling out of his grasp. Is she going to keep this up? It's been two days since she told him she loved him and has been acting like this ever since. Distant. Closed off. "Madge," he sighs. "Don't keep doing this to me."

"Doing this to _you_?" She shakes her head and lifts her cup for another drink. "I'm not doing anything to you."

"Madge," he sighs again. Gale's hands stretch out for her but she jerks her head to the side. "Why can't we just go back to how it was last week, hm?"

"Because I can't do that," Madge snaps. There are tears in her eyes and her voice quivers, betraying the anger in her voice. "I can't act like that knowing it doesn't _mean_ anything to you!" She lowers her mug to the counter and spins away from him so she can wipe at her eyes. It's not that it doesn't mean anything to him, it just means something _different_. "I can't do it, Gale, I can't. It hurts too much."

"This is what I was trying to protect you from," he murmurs. She turns to face him immediately, a _real_ anger in her eyes this time. "I don't want to see you like this."

Not only that but he _told_ her from the start that he was never going to love her. Everything was going fine. She _knew_ the deal.

"You were trying to protect me?" she laughs painfully and shatters his heart. "You were trying to protect yourself. Don't act like you've been looking out for me. I was perfectly fine loving you in secret until you had to go and kiss me. You waved the illusion of love right in front of my face and snatched it away when I tried to grab it." Gale inhales sharply and ignores the cracking in his ribs. "_I love you_," Madge says. She paces toward him and latches onto his shirt. "Look me in the eye and tell me that you don't love me and I'll take it all back."

He looks her in the eye and opens his mouth. But he can't say it.

Hope stirs inside her stomach. "Then tell me that you do," she whispers. "Tell me that you love me, Gale."

But he can't say that, either.

Madge pulls him down by his shirt and presses herself onto her toes. Her lips graze his, a sweet and gentle kiss yet bitter from the coffee. "You're killing me," she whispers. His hands tug her hips toward him and she kisses him again. It tastes like a goodbye. "I can't do this." The way her voice shakes is breaking his heart. "I love you, Gale, but I can't do this anymore."

"Madge…"

"We have to go back to how it was," she says. His eyebrows furrow together. "Avoiding each other. Not talking. No kissing. Gale, I can't pretend that you're not breaking my heart."

"Madge, _no_—"

"Then _tell me that you love me_." Her eyes search his frantically. "We can have it all, Gale. We can win. We can have _each other_." His head jerks to the side and she releases his shirt, taking a step backwards. She waits for him to speak. He doesn't. She can't torture herself anymore. "I'm sorry," she shakes her head. She turns back to the counter and grabs her coffee before pacing out of the room. "I just can't do it."

* * *

><p>He knows it's early and he should probably go in the woods but Gale needs to talk to his mother right now. He pounds on the door until he remembers that this is his old house and decides to let himself in. Hazelle is just climbing out of bed, her hair a mess and her eyes fogged over with sleep. She blinks a few times before saying anything.<p>

"What happened?" she asks.

"Ma," Gale's voice is rough. He runs a hand through his hair and takes a step backwards, jerking his head to the side. "I don't know what to do."

He needs Madge.

The realization is breathtaking and alarming all at once. With her saying that they can't be together like they were, being presented with the option of _losing _her, her touch and her kisses and her love, he can't deny it anymore. He needs her. She is his sunshine when he returns from the mines. She is the softness in such a harsh world. She is beauty and grace, she is peace. Madge brings something to his life that he didn't have before. She is sweet and kind and patient. She fits him perfectly.

_She loves him_.

"Come, sit," Hazelle pulls her son to the kitchen table. "Tell me what happened."

He can't admit that he needs her but he _has _to. "Madge told me she loves me," he croaks. Hazelle's smile is supreme. "I didn't say it back." Her smile drops immediately, he feels his stomach clench. "I couldn't. I can't, Ma, I…" he swallows thickly and drops his head into his hands. "_I'm terrified_."

He's terrified of losing her. Terrified that he's already lost her by not telling her that he loves her. Terrified of _loving her_.

But he does.

_He loves her. _

"Gale, sweetheart," his mother reaches out and grabs his hand. "Why are you so scared?"

"Because she's everything," the words rush from him before he can even evaluate them. Gale is in love with Madge. "She's absolutely everything and I need her in my life but what if something happens to her like to Pa? What if she dies and leaves me alone? What if I don't have her anymore? What if I mess up and she gets angry at me and hates me and—"

"Gale," Hazelle exhales and squeezes his fingers. "That's what love is, dear. It's the risk."

"No, it can't be like that." Love can't feel like this. Like he's suffocating and drowning and unable to think straight and unable to move because he's paralyzed with fear. Love can't be cold and threatening, and if it is then he's made the right choice by blocking it out. "It has to be better."

"It is, Gale," she whispers. "You just have to let it be."

"Then they win," he says, remembering what he told Madge. "The Capitol. If I love her then they _win._"

"That isn't true," Hazelle shakes her head. "If you love her then _you_ win, Gale. You get happiness, you get peace. If you love her—" He stands up abruptly, his hands slamming down on the table as he scoots backwards. "Gale?"

"That's not what I wanted you to tell me," he croaks. "I needed you to tell me that it's okay if I don't love her. I needed you to tell me that I _don't_ love her."

His mother blinks a few times. "Do you?"

He can't answer that question. Gale rushes from his mother's house before she can stand and follow him.

* * *

><p>He ends up in the woods. It is Sunday after all and his mind has always felt clearer when surrounded by nature. Today he is unlucky, of course, and with nothing to distract him Madge is <em>all<em> he can think about. He wanders aimlessly for a bit before stumbling into Katniss who is so startled by his appearance that she's drawn her bow and aimed it in his direction.

He holds his hands up. "Catnip! It's just me!" Katniss lowers her bow and cocks an eyebrow. "Jesus Christ."

"You're late," she says. "I didn't think you were coming."

"Yeah, well some things happened." He drags his free hand through his hair. They're both quiet while he retrieves his bow from its hidden place in a tree. She doesn't question why he doesn't have his game bag with him or why he looks like all he did was pull on a pair of pants after waking up and pull on his coat, but it most certainly is concerning. "You remember when we were younger," Gale says, as they walk a trail, "and I said that we should run away."

"Mm-hm," Katniss nods. "You were convinced that there were other people out there. That you could find someone to love all on your own."

He's already found someone to love. That's why this thought has resurfaced again.

"I still believe that," he grunts. That there are people out there, running from the Capitol's laws and expectations. "I think we should do it."

"What," she asks, "run away?" Gale tips his head forward and stops walking as she slows to a halt. "Why? What happened?"

"Nothing," Gale grumbles. "I just think we should. If we stay, if we live by the rules that the Capitol have set then we're like pieces in their game, Katniss! We can't let them win, we can't let them control everything we do!"

"Gale," Katniss jerks her head to the side. "I can't run away." He extends his hands outwardly. Why not? Why can't they just—"I'm pregnant," she says. Gale's body tenses, his eyes dart to her stomach. Maybe Madge could be, too. The thought is only brief before he shoves it away. He can't even consider that. "And Peeta… I—"

"Don't you dare say that you love him," Gale snaps. "Dammit, Katniss don't you _dare_!"

"I do," she admits. Her cheeks are red, her eyes won't meet his. "I do, though, and I'm having his child, and I don't want to leave."

"You never wanted kids," Gale reminds her. "You hate this place, District 12. You hate it and you're letting them brainwash you!"

"I agree that District 12 is not ideal," Katniss murmurs. There's starvation and poor working conditions and peacekeepers that can be a little harsh. "But if it's where I am, if this is how it is, that's okay. I'm happy, Gale." Finally her eyes lift to his and she can see it immediately. It's the look that an animal caught in a trap gives. "You're scared," she says. He swallows loudly and turns away from her. "What're you scared of?"

"Drop it, Katniss," he hisses.

"What are you scared of, Gale?"

"I can't love her!" he yells. Gale narrows his eyes at Katniss as she crosses her arms over her chest. "Just drop it," he repeats. "Don't push it. Don't."

So she doesn't.

She doesn't understand, but she doesn't push it.

She doesn't understand that he doesn't even know what he wants. He wants Madge, but he doesn't want to feel the pain that is included withthat. He wants to love but he _refuses _to. He wants to run away from this world but not without Madge by his side.

He just _doesn't know_ what he wants.

They hunt in silence the rest of the day.

Because he doesn't have his game bag with him they put everything that's caught into Katniss's bag. She looks at him often, studying his face like hunters do, trying to figure out what's changed, but she can't place it. Obviously she knows it's about Madge, but Katniss is too timid to ask specifics, and too embarrassed to voice her concerns. Maybe Madge has done something that Gale disagrees with, or maybe he _does_ love her and that's what he's so scared of. Katniss was scared at first too. She embraced it. He must be running.

By afternoon they've caught enough to feed four families, which is what they have. Gale and Katniss have been passing it off the whole day but she's the one who slings the bag over her shoulder when they return their bows before making toward the fence even though Gale tells her that she shouldn't be doing any heavy lifting. The bag isn't _that _heavy, and Katniss isn't one to step down. She likes proving that she's strong enough. As they enter the district Gale realizes he's torn a few holes in his shirt because it wasn't made for hunting. He's distracted as they walk, thinking about Madge and if she'll patch them or leave them as holes, or maybe he can teach her how to patch holes because after they ripped his plaid shirt the other day he had to sew it up himself. Or maybe it won't matter because she isn't talking to him anyway.

"You, there!" A voice suddenly slices through the air, freezing Katniss and Gale in their spot. It's a peacekeeper, one that's fairly new and not part of the black market yet. "What were you doing in the meadow?" he asks. "Are you two married?"

"We're cousins," Gale says quickly. He can't have the man thinking that he was having an affair and at the same time can't risk that they were in the woods. "We were planning my mother's birthday party. Her aunt. It's supposed to be a surprise."

The peacekeeper looks toward the bag over Katniss's shoulder. "What's in there?" he asks.

"Notes," Katniss lies.

The peacekeeper reaches forward and snatches the bag from her possession. His eyes widen at what's inside. Enough game to last a week. He lifts his eyes back toward Katniss but before he can say anything Gale steps in the way.

"It's mine," he says. Katniss is pregnant. Katniss is happily in love. Katniss is small and cannot survive the punishment of hunting. "They're all mine. I've been walking the meadow all morning finding what's been inside the fence." It's a stretch, even the man must know this, but he accepts it. "She didn't know what was in the bag, I just asked her to carry it for me."

He should've been carrying it the whole time, especially if she's pregnant. It was stupid to let her hold so much weight, stupid of her to put her at risk. The guilt eats at his stomach.

It stops when the peacekeeper doesn't question him any further. Gale doesn't resist as the man reaches out and pulls him toward town square, knowing what is waiting for him.

* * *

><p><em>Crack!<em>

_Crack! _

Gale's lost count of how many lashes he's received. He's on the whipping post. His hands are tied up above his head. He's slumped onto the ground, gravel digging into his knees. Wind whips at his bare back and cools the blood that's seeping from the wounds.

_Crack!_

_Crack!_

The man delivering the punishment knows Gale personally. He said that if there had been less game in the bag then he could've let him off with a warning but this was just too much to let slide. Gale's vision is foggy. The pain in his back is unbearable, but he can't help but think it doesn't hurt as much as his heart does.

What will happen when Madge sees him like this? What will she say? What will she think?

_What if he dies without ever telling her that he loves her?_

Twenty lashes, that was his sentence. The head peacekeeper tried for fifty but it got lowered eventually.

_Crack!_

He blacks out with the final whip, his last thought of Madge before he greets the darkness.

* * *

><p><em>AN: One chapter to go! Heh... sorry. _**Juniorstarcatcher** _is my beta queen and I'm so thankful for her! Lots of love to all of you. Hope you stay well in the sick season!_


	10. Love

**love** _n. _A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.

* * *

><p>Gale is moved to the Everdeen house. Peeta helps carry the board he's on, an old counter top, and a few of Gale's friends from the mines help as well. Katniss has run ahead to get her mother to prepare things.<p>

The door swings open as they lug him in. Gale is still unconscious. His back is raw and hot. Katniss stares. Peeta asks, "Has anyone told his wife?" They lower the countertop to the table but no one answers him. "Madge? Has anyone told her?"

"No, I don't know," Katniss shakes her head. She can't think straight, seeing Gale like this. She knew Gale hated Coadunate Day and she knew that Gale hated the Capitol but he was never _scared_ of them. The mines, being whipped, his two biggest fears and now he's had to deal with them both. Her fingers stretch out for his raw skin but Mrs. Everdeen swats her away. The door hasn't even shut all the way before it bursts open again. Katniss turns her head, "Hazelle!"

"Where's Madge?" she asks, rushing forward. "I sent Rory to find her but…" she trails off, shaking her head. His mother moves over to Gale and lowers herself in the spot next to him, grabbing her son's hand with all she's got. "Vick and Posy, they, they're home all alone and—"

"I can go," Peeta offers. He doesn't know Gale personally, but he was friends with Madge for a while when they were younger and he still considers them close, she stops in the bakery practically every night and they sit together at lunch with Katniss some days. Gale is her husband and he can do this for her. "I'll leave right now." Katniss kisses Peeta's cheek before he leaves, pulling on a jacket as he makes for the door. "Looks like snow," he calls over his shoulder.

"Good," Mrs. Everdeen nods. She turns to Katniss. "Go set some bowls outside that will collect the snow. We'll need it." Katniss is frozen, staring at her best friend who is beaten and bloody. "Katniss!"

"He needs medicine!" she yells back. "What are you _waiting _for?" Gale shifts at the yelling, his eyes snap open before shutting tightly. He croaks something but it's unintelligible. "Gale?" Katniss stoops next to him. "What did he say?"

Hazelle glances down at her son and lifts her eyes up to Katniss before swallowing thickly. There's only one person Gale wants right now.

"Madge," Hazelle whispers. "He said Madge."

* * *

><p>The door swings open, no use in knocking, and Madge stumbles in with Rory trailing behind her. She looks a mess, her hair is in every direction and her cheeks are red, tears blot the corners of her eyes. The scarf around her throat is becoming unwrapped and in her gloveless hands she holds two tiny bottles.<p>

"Use these," she rasps. She rushes forward and forces the bottles into Mrs. Everdeen's hands despite the fact that her own are shaking and Rory lingers in the doorway. Madge lowers herself next to Gale and grabs the hand that Hazelle isn't holding. "I'm sorry," Madge shakes her head, looking between all of the ladies in the room. "I wanted to be here forever ago b-but, but I needed t-to run home and get the medicine, it's morphling, it's my m-mom's and then I didn't," she shivers, "I didn't know where you… you took him thank _God_ Rory f-found me or, or I, I might've—"

"It's okay," Hazelle says. Rory finally steps forward after Katniss ushers him inside and he takes his spot next to his mother. Madge redirects her gaze to Gale and for the first time she _really_ looks at him. Madge gulps and her eyes instantly fill with tears. "Madge, honey," Hazelle reaches over but the blonde shrinks away, squeezing her eyes shut and jerking her head to the side. "It's okay," Hazelle repeats.

"We fought!" Madge cries. This is her fault; he's here because of her! If she had let things just breeze by this morning he wouldn't have ran out, he wouldn't have been so distracted. She squeezes Gale's hand as tight as she can. "This morning, we fought j-just this morning!" Gale stirs at the sound of her voice, blinking a few times and groaning. "Gale," she whispers. She moves to where his face is and watches his eyes flutter open. "Gale, can you hear me?"

"You're here," he exhales. He blinks a few times, the corners of his mouth turning upward as his eyes water. Even in his detached state Gale didn't think she would show up. "Madge…" Gale winces and drops his head down to the table. He gasps for air.

"Give him the medicine," Madge pleads, turning her head to Mrs. Everdeen who's been filling the needle. "Give it to him now. It helps with pain, please, give it to him!" Mrs. Everdeen finishes filling the needle and shoots it into his back. Gale yells as it's injected into him and sucks in sharp breaths.

"_Madge_," he chokes again. He's asleep before he can say anything else. Madge leans closer to him and whimpers, holding her hand as tightly as he can.

"He'll be okay," Rory says. Everyone looks at him but Madge doesn't pull her gaze from her husband. "He'll be okay, Madge."

She isn't sure she believes him.

* * *

><p>Gale stirs sometime in the middle of the night. He knows it's night because it's dark, even after he blinks a few times. One of his hands is being tightly held. His back is numb but if he shifts a line of pain shoots down his spine. Gale tries to move his head, tries to figure out where he is, until he turns and finds the person holding his hand. Gale lowers his head back to the table and blinks a few more times.<p>

"Madge?" he whispers. She shoots awake, looking up at him with bright blue eyes. His lips curl into a sweet smile. She stretches forward and lets her fingers dance over his cheeks. "Where'm I?"

"The Everdeens," she says quietly. "Your mom and Rory were here for a bit but wanted to get back to the kids before it got too dark out and the snow got to be too much." He nods his head the best he can. Madge brushes his bangs from his forehead and sniffles loudly. Madge is terrified that he's going to yell at her, that he's going to blame her for everything that's happened. She looks over her shoulder, preparing to stand. "I should wake Mrs. Everdeen so she—"

"I'm fine," he murmurs. "Come here." Madge narrows her eyes at him. "Come _heeere_," he coos softly. "I've got to telll you something before I fall back aaa_sleep_." She moves toward him, smiling at the way his voice drags out. He's clearly a little loopy. "Closer." She shifts again. "_Closer._" His lips are by the shell of her ear. "I love you," he whispers. Gale kisses the spot just below her ear, the only place he can reach without straining something. "I _love_ you," he says again, sleep overtaking him. "I'm sorry."

Sorry for getting hurt? That wasn't his fault, it was hers. Sorry for getting whipped? That wasn't his fault either.

She shifts away from him when his breath becomes panty and quiet and smiles, the weight of his words finally hitting her. Madge presses her hands to her cheeks to make sure she isn't dreaming. She pulls his hand up to her mouth and kisses his knuckles.

"I love you too," she sighs.

* * *

><p>Katniss wakes Madge in the morning so they can go get more snow for his back. Gale is asleep again and Madge can't help but wonder if she imagined his little confession last night. He was doped up on morphling and drowsy, he might not've even meant it. Don't people say what they really mean in times like that, though? Madge is too confused to speculate.<p>

_Now is not the time to think like this_, she scolds herself. Madge follows Katniss outside with a bowl and they both start to scoop snow. Katniss looks toward Madge as she carefully fills the bowl, making sure to avoid any spots that might look a bit dirtier than the rest.

"Madge," Katniss says. The blonde looks up with questioning eyes. "Gale. He wanted to run away." Madge blinks a few times before her eyebrows furrow together, and then she drops her bowl in the snow. Katniss blames Madge for this, too. It makes her feel even guiltier than before. "I thought you should know." Madge stares down at the bowl with a heavy heart.

"Did he say why?" she asks. Katniss continues shoveling snow, she doesn't answer. "Katniss," Madge pleads. The brunette tilts her head toward her friend and lifts her shoulder. Madge doesn't need an answer. She knows why. "Because of me," Madge whispers. The wind whips past them and sends loose strands of her hair curling in front of her face. A tear burns down her cheek. "It was because of me."

"It's more complicated than that," Katniss tells her. "Just… just talk to him about it when he wakes up, okay? Don't let it end at that, it—" Katniss shakes her head. "I just can't explain. I don't know everything." Katniss can speculate that Gale wanted to run due to fear of love, but she can't be sure, and she refuses to get Madge's hopes up. She might also, just a little bit, think this is Madge's fault. Just a bit. "Just talk to him."

"I will," Madge nods. Katniss stands and jerks her head for Madge to follow. She grabs her bowl but stays in the snow. "Are you mad at me?" Madge asks.

"Why would I be?"

"Because you know Gale and I fought," she responds. Katniss hesitates. "Because I'm the reason he was in the woods that morning."

"I'm not mad at you," Katniss answers. And in a way, she's sort of grateful Gale was there. "This just shouldn't have happened." Katniss hesitates again and Madge finally forces herself to her feet. "He took the fall for me. I had the bag and he took the fall." Katniss lifts her shoulders. "I guess I'm kind of mad at me. I'm kind of mad at everyone." The wind blows past again and Madge shivers. "Come on, let's get inside."

* * *

><p>It's a few days before Gale is given the OK to leave. He spends his time lying on his stomach and wishing he had something to do. His family comes by every once in a while. Posy likes to sit on Madge's lap and tell Gale all about her day. Rory just sits, he doesn't say much. He was there and saw Gale bloody and beaten and in pain and doesn't have anything <em>to <em>say. Vick likes to ask a lot of questions. _Does it hurt? How much? When will it stop? Are you going to die?_

Madge doesn't speak either, she just sits by Gale's side quietly. Sometimes he'll turn his head to look at her and she'll be staring at his back, clearly lost in thought. He'll clear his throat and she'll look back toward him and smile, but it's not the same. He doesn't like that she looks at his wounds. He doesn't like that she isn't talking to him. He wants to know what's going on inside her head.

The last night before Gale can leave he watches her a bit before getting her attention. There's a crease between her eyebrows that he wants to kiss away, and then continue to kiss every freckle across the bridge of her nose. She looks tired; Gale knows she hasn't been sleeping much. The past few days he's gotten morphling to help him sleep, but she just has to sit and watch.

He hasn't been given any painkillers today, however, and he wants to talk.

"Madge," he whispers. She blinks a few times before turning. "What're you thinking about?"

"A lot of things," she admits, looking toward the ground. He squeezes her hand, urging her on. "I'm just worried about you," she says, changing her previous statement. "I want you to get better."

"I'll be fine," Gale responds. He'll have scars, Mrs. Everdeen already told him so, but he'll survive. He wishes they weren't there, and that they didn't hurt, but they do and they're never going away, so he might as well deal with it. He'll have to go back to work when he's all healed up within the next week. "Don't worry about me." He rubs his thumb over her knuckles and she shrugs slightly. "I'm really glad you're here," he says. Madge looks up immediately and meets his eyes, though she's clearly confused. "I know that we fought, that—"

"Gale," she cuts him off, shaking her head. She doesn't want him to break her heart again, not in the Everdeen's house with people listening in. "Not now."

"Why not now?" He shifts a bit so he can get a better look at her. "I want to talk about it." Gale never wants to talk about anything, and the sincerity in his eyes is genuine. His words come out a little strained, "How I acted was wrong, Madge, I know that." She lets out a huff of air and leans backwards in her seat. This was not the conversation she thought she would be having. Gale takes his time before each sentence, struggling for the correct words. "It was stupid of me to kiss you and then pretend like it didn't mean anything to either of us. Especially to you."

"You told me from the start—"

"I told you that I would never love you," Gale says, "and I was wrong." Madge casts her eyes to the ground. "I love you," he says sternly. Her chin quivers, her eyes fill with tears. How can he say it so simply all of a sudden? That's easy, because it's _simple_ _for him_ now. He has to spend every moment he possibly can with her, this whipping has shown him that. "I do, Madge. I was so terrified to admit it that I just denied it and I would've _kept_ denying it if you hadn't called me out on it." He shifts again, sitting up more and needing her to understand this. Madge reaches to his back as though to hold him down and he swats her hand away. She wouldn't have touched him, she just wanted him to stop moving. His back is already wrapped up, they just want him laying for a bit. "I was wrong," he says again. "Look at me."

She's so terrified to meet his gaze, terrified he won't like who he sees. "I can't," she shakes her head.

"Madge—"

"You were going to run away!" she cries. Gale flinches but doesn't deny it. Madge lifts her hand immediately to cover her mouth and sucks in a small breath, turning to face him. The rest of the house does not stir. "You were going to _leave_ me here. How can you tell me you love me when—"

"Look at me," Gale says, reaching forward to tilt her chin up. "I was going to leave _because_ I love you." Her hand falls. "I never would've done it, but I just… I have been terrified, _terrified_ to fall in love for as long as I can remember. I made up all of these excuses as to why I shouldn't and kept my self emotionally distanced from _everyone_ except my family." She blinks until a tear drips down her cheek and Gale lifts his hand to wipe it away. "First it was because of my mom and dad. They loved each other and when he died I had to pick up the pieces because of how _broken_ she was." Gale pauses, searching for the right words. "And then it was the Capitol, I was so angry that they were telling me who I had to be with I figured I would spite them, and it just, it all built up to the point of me being absolutely petrified of love."

"That's stupid," she croaks.

He chuckles and nods, "I know." His thumb continues to caress her cheek. "And so when I realized that I had fallen in love with you it scared the shit out of me. I didn't know what to do. I never would've actually ran away, not without you, I was just—"

"Scared," Madge says. Gale dips his head. "I'm scared too," she whispers. "Loving you is absolutely… I never know what I'm going to get. Gale, you're an asshole but you're also one of the greatest people I've ever met." She blinks a few times again. "Even before we were married you weren't afraid to push me to my limits, but not in a bad way. You always brought out something inside me that no one else could."

"Mm," he smiles, "I like it when we debate."

Madge lets out a watery laugh but agrees, "Me too."

He leans in closer, pressing his forehead to hers. "I fucked up. I know I did."

She nods, "Yeah. You did."

"I'm sorry. I am, I'm so sorry."

Madge smiles again, though her eyes are still wet, and Gale finds the strength to do so as well. "You hurt me, Gale," she whispers, her smile falling. His fades as well. "You're irrational, you know. You need to _talk _to me if you want this to work."

"I will," he nods. "Madge, I swear I will." It'll be difficult, he's never been very good at expressing his emotions, but he'll try his dammed hardest. "Can we work on it? Fixing things?" She nods simply and smiles again, wanting this to work more than _anything_. They're quiet for a bit before Gale lets out a soft breath. "I love you," he whispers. "I love your patience, and your strength, and how you are with my family, and the way you laugh." At that she lets out a quiet giggle. "I love you, Madge, and I'm sorry it took me so dammed long to realize it."

"Me too," she sighs. Gale rolls his eyes but chuckles when her lips curl upwards again.

His eyes search hers for a brief moment before dropping down to her lips. She must notice because she licks them. "Can I kiss you?" he asks.

"You're my husband," she beams. "Of course you can."

Gale grins, tilting her chin up and bending down so their lips can graze. Madge reaches behind him and tangles her hands into his hair as he pulls her toward him. He almost has her in his lap when Mrs. Everdeen clearing her throat startles them apart.

Madge drops to the ground with a yelp, spinning around to face the healer with bright red cheeks. "Mrs. Everdeen," Gale nods pointedly. He can't wipe the smile off of his face. Madge looks infinitely flustered. "Er, sorry."

The woman sighs, but smiles slightly. "I think you're all good to go, Gale. Just stop by tomorrow to get your bandages changed, okay?"

"Okay," he nods. His hand finds Madge's again. "Thank you for everything, Mrs. E."

"Yes, thank you," Madge echoes. "If he, if Gale hadn't—"

"You're welcome," she cuts Madge off. "I know you two want out of here, so go on." Gale's smile stretches into a grin and he tips his head at Mrs. Everdeen again, who smiles brightly back.

* * *

><p>Days pass and Gale's wounds heal up. His back still hurts and work is a pain but he manages, considering he gets to come home to Madge every night. Tonight Gale immediately knows something is different, however. Madge is acting strange, she smiles at him more often and laughs when things aren't funny. It takes him a while but finally he gets around to asking.<p>

"What's wrong with you?" he asks. Madge narrows her eyes at him and he smirks, lifting his shoulders. "You're in a weirdly good mood."

"Yeah, so?"

"So… want to tell me why?" He's sitting on the couch and extends his arms, motioning for her to join him. She moves from her spot and settles onto his lap, allowing Gale to nuzzle into her neck. "What's going on?" he breathes, letting it dance over her skin. She leans into him and smiles. "Tell me."

"Okay," she nods. Madge leans backwards and turns slightly so she can see him, cradling his cheeks in her hands. "I'm pregnant," she says. He blinks a few times, jerking out of her grasp so he can look down at her stomach. "Gale?"

"That's incredible," he exhales. "That's incredible! Madge!" Gale dissolves into laughter before bowing down and instilling her with the sweetest kiss. He's smiling so broadly Madge isn't even sure that it _is_ a kiss. "Oh, God, that's so great! That's great!" He pulls her toward him again and again, peppering kisses to her face. "God, this is great, this is so _perfect_."

"Gale," she laughs, parting from him with the most beautiful smile. His eyes are bright and his smile is wide, but she's hesitant. "Is this what you want?"

His smile falters a bit, his eyebrows furrowing together. It doesn't matter what he wants, this is a requirement. They're to have two children or to be put to death. It shouldn't matter what he wants.

But it does.

Coadunate Day is necessary but what comes after is not. Gale is no longer scared.

He nods, "Yes. This is what I want." Gale leans down and presses his mouth to hers. "I want you," he whispers. "I want a _family_ with _you_." He brushes her bangs from her forehead.

She hasn't said it often, and is always scared of how he'll take it, but it falls from her tongue so naturally tonight. "I love you," she whispers nervously. Madge looks down, and when she looks back up he's smiling. He believes her.

But more importantly, he feels the same.

"I love you, too."

* * *

><p><em>AN: I hope you enjoyed this ten-day journey with me, friends! I hope you liked the fic! My gratitude to _**juniorstarcatcher**_ for beta-ing is unlimited, as well as my inspiration swishywillow. I know it was a kind of cheesy ending, but hey. Lots of love for all the support! You guys are great!_


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